Relationships Archives - Touch Remedies

I’m Writing a Book on Relationships

Posted on December 27, 2021 by Dawn BennettJanuary 5, 2022

And it’s turned out a bit like a relationship itself. I was all excited about it. It’s my second full book. I was so inspired I was even waking up in the morning after having dreams about it in the fall of 2020. I’d get up and voice memo myself the rush of thoughts and awesomeness running through my brain.

THIS IS IT!

Yep, This is it, I thought. This will be SO EASY! In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s divine intervention writing this book through me. I went right from courting the idea of writing a book about relationships into full-blown honeymoon phase. Words were easy; my messages felt clear and aligned for anyone to receive.

And Then…

Like most relationships, the excitement waned. I kept working on it, but somehow the flow wasn’t as magical. The edits were more brutal and disheartening. I was afraid that what I was writing would too honestly reflect my own intimate relationships in the past and upset those I still care for and call friends.

Reality set in. As I navigated writing with work and my life in general, the book got set aside. I’d write a bit when I felt like it amidst everyday drudgery. I knew it didn’t have to be this way; I couldn’t see a way out.

Just Another Day In the Woods

When people asked me about the writing, I’d say it was going fine. Pretty good. But realistically, my hormones weren’t engaged. My intellect wasn’t excited. Things were stagnant.

I’d engage with it, half-heartedly hoping for the passion to return, but wasn’t really sure where I was headed.

Should I End It?

My thoughts were fully occupied as I hiked. Do I really want to write this book? Or should I change it up and write something totally different. I’ve put so much time and energy into it. Maybe I should just stick with it. Maybe this is all there is.

The Big Choice

I had three main options I decided. First, try to reignite my passion and dedication and bring it in a new direction, using the past chapters as a catalyst for growth. Second, I could settle with what I’ve already done and just keep going, hoping it will get better. Third, I could end it. Either by not writing it at all, or by starting all over again.

More Than Creativity In Hibernation

Everything is GONE. Everything.

I went into my computer early December to try to rekindle the creative juices. Not one word was to be found. Not the outlines, the research, the quotes, the character development, nor the chapters themselves. Unsearchable, even in icloud or my external backup drive.

I took it as a sign from the universe to give up. With tears I started announcing to my closest people that the Universe had decided for me.

A Bit Returned…

Amanda, who helped me with my first book (and is the lead of the 20-author collaborative book being released January 21st 2022 that I’m part of), had copies of three-and-a-half chapters in an email from me.

A Magical Reappearance

As if the Universe was telling me I HAD to write it, Apple Support found it while I was working with another computer issue. All of it. Everything I mentioned above + voice memos.

Now What?

It’s a second chance. Do I want it? Will it make me happy? Is it “meant to be?” Tuning in, I still have a strong NEED to write a book on relationships. Should it be more about healing with EFT? Touch-based? Process and science based? Should I turn it partially fiction? Too many options froze me again.

The Next Relationship

I am creating a new relationship. I’ll read the old content. Enjoy the light from the darkness. Feel into my body and get a clear idea if this past writing was just to teach me a lesson so I could have a stronger, more powerful, more aligned relationship with my next writing project; perhaps it’s actually the one I wanted all along. Maybe as I turned my back and struggled, it has been patiently waiting for me to come to center and feel its presence. Warm, inviting, and fully open to expanding into a beautiful and synergistic existence.

We’ll see.

If you want to explore whether you should end or continue a relationship of your own, click here for information on my class in January. Or purchase it directly through my website.

With love and Gratitude,

Dawn

Healthy Touch Awareness Exercises

Posted on August 7, 2021 by Touch RemediesAugust 19, 2021

Scouting Your Inner Terrain with Touch The Touch Crisis Cover Strategizing Intention and Safety with Touch Tackling the Mountain of Wants, Needs, and Consent in Touch Scaling Touch Challenges with the 4 C’s Comparing Landscapes & Sharing the Adventure of…

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Calming, Centering, & Meditative Practices

Posted on August 7, 2021 by Touch RemediesAugust 7, 2021

Gratitude Walk Self Forgiveness & Self Love Walk Sensory Calming Exercise 5 Ways to Release Anger Out of Your Body Beyond EFT Tapping…

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Is It Over? Clarify Your Relationship Class

Posted on August 3, 2021 by Touch RemediesJanuary 15, 2022

All files used with written permission from the copyright holders. All rights reserved. Is It Over? Class 1 https://youtu.be/c2DInV6rzyg Is It Over? Class 2 https://youtu.be/vEt3ijg2WQE Is It Over? Class 3 https://youtu.be/zVMbInKubGc When-To-End-It-EbookDownload Return to Member Corner…

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Path To Passion Class

Posted on August 3, 2021 by Touch RemediesDecember 27, 2021

Path To Passion Class (Finding Intimacy) This class will be eventually turned into full video classes. Until then, the audio and PDFs of this class were created by & performed by Alina Frank & Craig Weiner-Master EFT trainers and my…

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Member Corner

Posted on July 13, 2021 by Touch RemediesDecember 21, 2021

“The body is what we perceive existence through. The temple of the body perceives the rest of creation. Our whole existence is about perception.” Member Corner Page Navigation Tapping Scripts/ EZ Tapping Script LoginHealing Relationships with EFT Class SeriesEmotional Freedom…

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Denying Support Does Not Make You Independent and Strong

Posted on June 10, 2021 by Touch RemediesSeptember 28, 2021

I had a series of mishaps Tuesday beginning with an injury and followed by a theft. My friend, Coach Les Hill, was gracious enough to offer support in a variety of ways. Someone stole my motorcycle gloves; he offered me another pair. I hurt my leg and a very very deep bruise was starting. The remedies I had been using to care for myself had been stolen as well. He offered an extra level of support with topical arnica.

Belief Systems Stirred

The hardest thing was not that the theft or injury happened, but that it stirred up a deep belief I’ve been working on with my colleagues using EFT tapping and homeopathy. The belief? People take advantage and steal my energy via time, stuff, and money if I’m not 100% attentive.

I know where the source of this belief is, and it’s about 80% less potent. Every time the trigger occurs it is less emotional and impactful.

Energy Returns Through Others’ Care

How do you allow others to care for and support you? I used to think accepting help from others made me weak. Or it meant I owed them something because I should create equality in energy. There was a distrust that others were giving freely; I had learned that many people, especially guys when I was younger (sorry but true), expected something in return. I boldly turned down all help offered, stubbornly taking care of everything in my life myself. It’s all different for me now. I choose to accept support. It’s pure awesomeness. It refills my energy cup. It allows me to give to others.

Can You Have King/Queen Treatment?

First, some of us are taught that accepting help creates vulnerability. Second, we learn from our childhood experiences what attachment to a loved one looks like. Many learn being treated well is not safe; kindness is a manipulation tool. Third, some learn being treated well was fleeting—perhaps one sober minute we are the apple of our parents eye, and the next minute we are backhanded. Or worse. That can all be healed.

Even without abuse, many of us subconsciously learn we don’t deserve. That we aren’t worthy. In my relationship and intimacy training, my teacher says that the hardest thing for men and women to accept in a healthy relationship is their partner treating them like a king or queen. However, we all deserve that level of care from those we love; it does not make one less of a man or less of a woman. In fact, it’s a key part of connection and relationships.

Receiving Helps Others

For example: If I try to show you love and care through help and support, and every time I try you turn it down, I may feel unloved. If my love language is acts of service, and you don’t allow me to help you, I may feel unimportant or as if you were pushing me away.

Obviously there’s boundaries with everything, and there are times when people do give to manipulate, or they are being boundary-less and it can be too much. However, I encourage you to look within yourself. Can you receive gifts, help, and support graciously? Do you allow it to create connection? Do you know that you deserve it?

Another Crash, Another Injury

In conclusion, I felt the support again when I crashed again this morning on a trail. I was extra grateful to still have this Arnica on hand. Above all else, be kind to yourself. Allow others to be good to you. Let’s have conversation about how you can have more support, care, and connection in your life. Schedule here.

Better Intimate Relationships

Mastering the art of receiving support gracefully and knowing you deserve it will also have a positive influence on your partnerships, your marriage, and your future relationships. It will create more connection and communication between you and your partner. How do I know? I’ve experienced it myself as I have shifted beliefs using EFT tapping, and I’ve seen my own clients have powerful changes in their confidence and connection. Ready to explore that for yourself? Then let’s chat.

With love,

Dawn

Is There Positive Emotional Baggage & Stuff?

Posted on June 7, 2021 by Touch RemediesSeptember 28, 2021

This is not the first time I’ve downsized and let go of stuff. I sold my house in Red Wing and moved into a townhouse one year before I moved to Sweden. I did another round of downsizing when I moved out of the townhouse to head overseas. I’m doing it again in preparation for a simple and more flexible way of living. Plus, I don’t want a storage unit, nor do I want to burden my parents with too much stuff in their space.

Hard to Let Go

I thought letting go would get easier. Yet the ‘stuff’ leftover is the stuff that has the most emotional connection for me.

This Bear

It was 2005 or so, and I was pushing myself hard—running a business with multiple employees, teaching 12 credits at the technical college, and going to school myself. Suddenly, my body couldn’t take it anymore and I got really sick. Unable to move kind of sick.

Anyone who knows me knows I have limited capacity for movies and television. I’m too restless and really like doing stuff all the time (although that has become much better since Europe.) To get me to sit still for 2+ hours was a feat—unless I was cuddling, multitasking, or at a theater. I was so exhausted I watched the whole Godfather series back-to-back without fidgeting.

Learning From My Students

My teaching assistant taught my classes then stopped by with a card and this bear from my students. I was shocked! So much so, I don’t even think I gave them a proper “thank you” when I did have the strength to resume teaching.

I honestly hadn’t thought my teaching performance was high-level. It fell far short of the quality I demanded of myself. Stressed out and distracted, I flagellated myself for my lack of attentiveness and awareness of their individual struggles; my lack of support; the ability to communicate the nuances of energy, touch, intention and healing to them; my ability to help them heal. I didn’t feel as connected emotionally or energetically to the students as I had in past years because I was too busy doing stuff to focus on the relationships. I learned that perhaps they were more forgiving of me than I was with myself.

A Reminder

This bear has served as a reminder to me to be gentle with myself. To find balance. To let go of internal and external expectations. That health comes first. That relationships are more important than stuff and doing.

The Other Side

Yet at the same time the second hardest thing to let go of was my PILES of flashcards. To me this represented time, schooling, energy, the intent to absorb all the knowledge conveyed in my classes. I threw out piles before I even decided to take these pictures. I felt like I was throwing away hours of work + piles of knowledge.

Flashcards in French and Swedish, of homeopathic remedy themes and indications, anatomy cards highlighting parts of the brain and where all your organs attach to your bones and other soft tissues. They felt like a time capsule of my big tests and academic passions from high school to this year.

The Anxiety hit…maybe I should save them and start studying again! After all, it would be great to brush up on my French. I used to be fluent-why not fire up those neurological pathways and capture the beauty of the language of love? Stuff my free time with remembering all the stuff I used to know?

Let Go to Grow

I’ve done one vision board in my life. It’s three pages (because I folded the board like a book to organize it into personal, professional, and travel. Letting go of stuff reminds me to grow. That clinging onto past relationships, belief systems, icons, and self-imposed measurements doesn’t serve.

I also let go of letters from students and past boyfriends, of cards from people who have died, as well as the subtle belief that I need those items to keep those memories and feelings close to my heart. The items themselves do not make me a better teacher, mentor, healer, or person. The lessons I learned from those people are invaluable. I can honor that best by facilitating similar life-changing experiences for those who ask.

What Are You Ready to Let Go Of?

I’m not still talking about stuff, although maybe that is it for you. What do you envision in your life? What would make you joyful, free, happy? I can help you explore and let go. The clutter, the self-judgment, the expectations. You deserve it.

Are you interested in a deeper conversation about how explore this yourself? Schedule a free session with me. I’d love to help.

With love,

Dawn

Limited Capacity for Other People

Posted on June 7, 2021 by Touch RemediesJune 7, 2021

Have you ever felt the loss of a relationship and wondered what happened? Maybe a friendship, a marriage, a partnership, a work colleague who moved on and forgot that you existed because you weren’t seeing each other daily? The effort it took to stay connected was suddenly too much? Perhaps one of you got too busy, too complacent, too comfortable and it had nothing to do with capacity.

Perhaps instead you were excited about something—an idea, an event, an opportunity—and then the excitement just… disappeared.

Limited Capacity

I’ve realized I have limited capacity.

I know… it shocked me too! I’ve been starting to do (really bad but I’m learning) videos that I’m posting on YouTube, creating new classes, new business offerings, and finishing the co-authored book that was started two years ago; we were going to meet April 2020 to finalize and release it in November, but just met this April instead. (Look for the launch in January 2022!)

Although I’m great at pushing myself physically and mentally, especially in my business, it turns out there is a limited capacity for creativity. For connecting through words and ideas.

When I’m expending my energy creatively, it turns out I have no energy for daily chitchat with people—even those I love dearly. I want solitude and sometimes want to escape from everything. But I’ve also found that even though my capacity to text, talk, and facetime has shifted, my capacity for love, acceptance, and compassion has not. Even though my last blog talked about how I was “trained to hate women,” I honestly don’t. It was an awareness of the training and the subtle belief systems that make me wary, that made me sensitive, that made me suspicious about others’ motives. When I wrote the blog, I had to be honest to what came up in the healing session-as dramatic and judgmental as it sounded.

Multiple Roles

We are all involved in multiple relationships and play multiple roles in our lives. Whether that be at work, home, with friends, volunteer organizations, spiritual and religious communities- we only have so much capacity. There’s even the theory that we only have capacity to maintain 150 relationships of any type at once.

So what happens when our energy, our passion, and our drive gets spent schooling the kids. Doing zoom meetings. Avoiding people at the grocery store. How does that impact our personal and intimate relationships? How does that affect our husband/wife/partner?

So many people have divorced and broken up during this pandemic. Why?

They Are Driving Me CRAZY!

Some would say it’s because their partner drove them crazy. What happened to the love and desire to be together? How did YOU change—your internal expectations, beliefs, and sensitivities—and project that onto your partner without any communication? How did your partner being home or around more often shift your role in the family unit? Where did you lose your capacity?

What is the Role You Each Play?

Is your role your identity? Was your partner’s role theirs? What is your capacity for being present to the reason things have shifted? The understanding of the loss of connection?

Connection starts by observing self and understanding your own drive. When we are so tied to our identity and/or role, and become offended, hurt, challenged, or self-conscious when another doesn’t help us align with that role-doesn’t play the part they have always played—that is not the other person’s fault.

Limited Capacity for Relationships

If you find yourself “breaking up” with friends, family members, or partners because belief systems are different, it’s a great time to come to me for some Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) sessions. Why? Because it’s your own internal sensitivity being challenged. Your own belief system.

Your Own Unresolved Subconscious Crap Creates A Lot of Problems

How do I know? I can listen to people on totally opposite ends of the spectrum from me. I may be dismayed, shocked, turned-off, or confused by their logic, however I don’t take it personally and don’t feel the need to attack them for their beliefs. Instead I have an open conversation about it—if they choose. (Plus our brains all work differently and I learn TONS from other peoples’ perspectives.)

The more healing I do around my belief systems, the less triggered and upset I get. The more capacity I have for love, openness, and compassion.

Limited Capacity for Openness

Can you be open to listening without offense when others share an opposite opinion? Becoming offended, judgmental, and angry does nothing. Nothing to solve problems nor create solutions. Especially in interpersonal relationships.

If you find yourself more stressed than usual because of the last year, and of what others are doing/thinking/believing, and are open to a conversation, give me a call or schedule a chat here.

I’m here for you. Non-judgmentally and with open arms.

With love,

Dawn

Have I Learned To Hate Women?

Posted on May 25, 2021 by Touch RemediesMay 25, 2021

The Hidden Belief Exposed

“It’s hard to hate women when there’s so much awesomeness around me.” The words that came from my mouth on the fourth day of class shocked me. Where on earth did that come from? Here I am, on a massage table, getting CranioSaral work by at least five women, and THAT is what I say?

I laughed out loud. Partially because it was a funny statement, partially because I had no idea where it came from, and partially because I was waiting for the judgement to rain down.

I went back to my campsite that evening after a soak in the hot springs. It was 1 am; I was mulling over my experiences so far.

All week, every relationship that has come up that has needed healing was a betrayal by another woman. From secrets being betrayed, my body being judged, my ideas being shot down, my motives scorned. There wasn’t room for me in this world as a strong, independent woman in my younger years, and I had carried this forward in my body.

A Simple Intention To Heal

My physical intention for this week-long CranioSacral class was easy: Release the scar tissue in my lungs and chest that had been created by the mold exposure as well as the damage caused by the refrigerator that crushed me against a steel beam and caused me to lose function in my right arm for a few weeks.

My Emotional intention was even easier (so I thought.) To heal old relationship issues so I could open my heart even more. After all-I’m still friendly with most of my exes… I knew where my fear was, what my belief system was. I just needed a bit of support clearing that.

Ha. I thought I had work to do around my relationships with men. It makes me chuckle now.

The Introduction

Sitting in the room of 10 female students and 2 female teaching assistants (and the one male teacher) the first day of class, I found ease, grace, and familiarity in us all staking our claim in our roles in the introductions. Like a litany of triumphs- whether traumas, successes, or life struggles.

My name is x, here’s my intention of learning and/or healing for the week, here’s the experiences I’ve had. Strong identities shared. Here is my story. This is what you get to see of me. This is how I choose to portray myself.

A safe space to share trauma is rare. But allowing another woman to see the strength you hold; the power and beauty and sexuality—unheard of.

So we hid. Behind stories. Or perhaps—it was just me hiding. Behind my own ego, my own belief that my 23 years of healing myself had somehow brought me to a different level.

Are Women Taught To Hate Women?

Our group discussion as women the day after my session was fascinating. The same themes came up over and over.

“I don’t trust women.”

“I’ve never experienced love and trust for a group of women before.”

“We are taught as a society to judge and hate women. WTF.”

Together, this group of women let go of hate and bonded in a tighter way than I have ever experienced.

A woman who shared the experience on the table with me said, “Dawn feels like a sister. I wasn’t going to let go of her hand until I knew she was okay.” She turned to me. Protective. Powerful. “I don’t trust very many women. But I can honestly say I love you.”

We discussed how society had trained us to be competitive, mistrustful, judgmental, and hateful towards each other. Not how men had, but how other women had. How we, as women, had lost so much by betraying each other.

Am I Being Melodramatic?

Even writing this story—it seems excessive. Is it true we’ve been taught to distrust and hate each other so much? Reflecting on my experiences + how I hear my male friends discuss how baffled they are by the way women treat each other—I would say yes.

Ask me who my five closest friends are—the ones who know the most about me, who I trust with my life and my soul—only one is female. Fascinating. I’m not judging that or even saying it should be more balanced. Just noticing. Very curious. Curious about the hidden culture that set me up to distrust women—and how my mind latched onto unhealed past circumstances to believe it.

A Personal History of Betrayal; Unhealed Circumstances

Maybe it started in first grade when a classmate called me a whore. I didn’t even know what it meant, but I could tell she was angry and that it was really mean.

Maybe it was in 5th grade when one of my good friends made me choose between her and my other two female friends. I was told I must align or be left behind. I chose wrong that time. The second time she gave me that ultimatum she lost my friendship—or what was left of it.

Maybe it was in sixth grade when a friend told my secret to the whole school. When I got home I got in trouble for sharing the same secret. Doubly shamed.

Maybe it was the girls who made fun of me when I developed early; perhaps it was my male friends’ girlfriends who assumed I was sleeping with their partners, as they clung with a jealous ferocity to the boy they had captured.

Maybe it was the time in high school when I overheard two women talking about how I was having sex with my boyfriend; their shocked tones and catty judgement easy to hear through the bathroom stall.

Hell, I didn’t know I was doing the stuff they said I was doing with him. I would have been shocked at myself too at that age.

College Was No Different

Perhaps it was observing women at the university; they were cruel to each other, judging, commenting, hiding their insecurity behind a superiority complex and trendy clothing. I wanted nothing to do with it. I preferred the martial arts gym with the men where acceptance seemed easy.

Perhaps it was one of my closest female friends forgetting I existed when I was in my 20s; knowing I was staying at her house for the weekend so I could go to school, yet inviting her closest 5 female friends over to dress up and have dinner together. She was very cordial about inviting me into the group when I returned from school and they were gathered together. She even offered to share her dinner with me.

No, Thanks.

Perhaps it was being accused of disrespecting women’s relationships. Maybe it was because I portrayed myself as confident and independent and it made others uncomfortable.

I Really Do Like Women!

I’m not the first woman who has written about this cultural phenomena. Personally, I like and love women as individuals. I love my clients, my friends, the females who have mentored me and supported me along the way.

I just didn’t have any awareness of how guarded I am when women get together in a group. Whatever happened in class this last week pulled the remaining trauma out of my body and my system. It’s been transformative. Emotional.

It reminded me how important it is to continue our own healing processes. How vital it is to look into the shadow side of ourselves; how our unhealed situations in our past as well as familial patterns influence our current reality.

If you are interested in exploring your unhealed moments in time, schedule a health and healing strategy session with me. I’d love to have that conversation with you.

With love,

Dawn