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Tag Archives: loneliness

Ousted from Community

Touch Remedies Posted on February 19, 2022 by Dawn BennettFebruary 19, 2022

Have you ever been pushed out of or separated from a group that you really felt part of?  Maybe you have experienced this in sports, in school, in religious community, in friendships, in your neighborhood, or over this pandemic.  I’ve worked with people who have had this painful experience, but only recently has it happened to me in a way that broke my heart.

Break-up x 100 = Devastation

I’m surprisingly devastated, and it’s like 100 friends have broken up with me at the same time.  To be honest, this group that I perceived and experienced as loving and spiritual has its own agenda.  They schedule things and then move them with little to no notice (which is what happened.)  

I Paid to Be Part of Something

I planned my travel and my whole work schedule around this spiritual journey; the time it is offered has been moved with only five days notice.  Instead of participating in the 25 classes in-person where I can ask questions and build relationships, I now will have to watch the replays. 

Frequent Attacks

It feels disrespectful and personal, even though it has nothing to do with me.  The odd thing is, many of the communities I have been part of have pushed me away, attacked me, or shamed me recently.  Enough that I got very ill and depressed and was unable to function for days.  I sat on the earth one day and observed myself and how I was feeling and thought, “Is this how people feel when they decide to commit suicide?”  Although I wasn’t suicidal, I had never felt the depth of hopelessness I did in that moment. I questioned everything I was doing in the world as well as my purpose in it.

What’s the Lesson?

I’m trying to figure that out.  As a person who really loves people, who is writing a book on the importance of community and connection and communication and empathy and love, it almost feels like a test. Do I believe what I say?  Or am I the painter who never paints her house?  Perhaps I talk so much about love and connection because I am trying to create it for myself. 

Is It Safe To Love?

Is it worth the heartbreak?  Am I expecting too much of my fellow humans?  I don’t think so. I do think at the core everyone wants to be loved.  Individuals are loveable.  But so many messages from our infancy on teach us that love is conditional.  We are not enough. Love isn’t to be trusted. Community is a place you go to find others, but must ‘Do’ to be ‘part of’.

Creating a Powerful Story

After writing this, I am considering the possibility that I am experiencing these losses over and over so I can channel the isolation energy as I write this book.  I was fairly sheltered during the pandemic, but this mirrors many of the experiences of those I have talked to. 

Doing My Work

I’ve already done some EFT Tapping around it and prayerful meditation. That’s when I decided to write this blog.  Now, I’m off to do yoga and move the rest of this energy out before I continue to write my book.

Do You Resonate?

I’d love to hear your stories about connection and disconnection, loneliness and isolation.  It is something we all experience sometimes, so why don’t we talk about it more?  How do you find ways to connect when you feel like no one cares?  Drop me a line.  Let’s chat.

With love,

Dawn

Dawn with Hands on heart
Dawn
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Posted in Cultures and Communities, EFT Tapping, Hiking & Healing, Physical discomfort and painful sensations, Relationships, Touch Remedies | Tagged break up, community, connection, eft Tapping, healing, loneliness, relationships, separation, spirituality, touch remedies | 1 Reply

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) for Loneliness Class Series

Touch Remedies Posted on November 14, 2021 by Beth AndersonFebruary 4, 2022

Class Overview: Winter + Covid + isolation + life changes are creating loneliness, stress, fear. Many identify having feelings of depression, anxiety, or hopelessness. Many use alcohol, food, or the internet to try to suppress these feelings. You will learn…

This content is for EFT Tapping for Loneliness Class Series members only.
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Losing the Ability to Love

Touch Remedies Posted on December 29, 2020 by Touch RemediesDecember 27, 2020

Where Did the Love Go?

Have you ever lost your ability to love?  I have been hesitant of love a few times in my life, especially after relationships (both intimate and friendships) that ended.  But I really lost it, believe it or not, after one of the most joyful and life-changing experiences I had.  I came back from Europe December 28, 2019 and one of the first things I noticed when I interacted with my friends and family was the loss of the emotion of love. 

My Brain Knew, My Heart Did Not

Seriously— I could not feel the love.  I knew I loved them, cared for them, but it was flat.  Detached.  What I imagine people explain when they are on antidepressants where there are no highs and no lows.  In a way it was devastating–but I couldn’t even feel devastated.  Usually I would use Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) with myself for something like this, but I couldn’t figure it out. I hired Gabriella from Migration of Emotion, and the best way I could describe it was as if my heart was in a concrete bunker.

Part of the reason I went inside?  Safety.  I connect so deeply and so easily to people that I had stopped connecting because it was too painful to keep leaving. 

Where Is the Connection?

The first time I was in Europe I’d be in one area three weeks then go to another area. There was always something new to see, some new excitement to be had. The second time I was there, I wrote my book, The Touch Crisis, and it was much less like that.  Friends hosted me, but I also took a lot of continuing education and was in hostels or camping temporarily.  The connections were not as deep and, in fact, a lot of the people I considered close friends in the U.S. were not staying in contact or returning texts.  Because I was going back to places I had traveled before, there was less magic and a little less enthusiasm about where I was going.  I lost, over time, my desire to be connected because subconsciously I didn’t want to feel the pain and loss of leaving people.  

  • I met Martina, from Italy, via Ireland
  • Gabriela from Norway via Sweden
  • I met Carli Couchsurfing
  • Sue was also a Couchsurfing host
  • Nadine I met randomly
  • Mom with Håkan, a friend I met through others
Some of the friends I made + still talk with

I do remember a couple months traveling and thinking I ‘should’ feel more excited about what I was seeing . The realization I had been to all these beautiful places and done all these amazing things and had no one who really understood, no one who really could share that experience with me, was horribly isolating. 

Jung on Loneliness

Carl Jung said in Memories, Dreams, and Reflections, “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”

I knew I had changed, but kept questioning: what is this lesson?  I was doing my work, tapping, self-exploring.  Shouldn’t this be easier?  I felt so lonely I couldn’t even find the motivation to do my self-work.  Apathy was my main companion.  I escaped through reading, sometimes drinking or eating too much, and sometimes stared at the computer.  Watching movies was pointless because I would spend an hour trying to find what to watch only to turn something on and be completely dissatisfied– all because I was dissatisfied within.  I felt lonely, isolated, and not understood.

My point? 

With help, I came out of it; she helped me find what actually needed to be healed.  She did for me what I strive to do for others, and I am extremely grateful.

Love is worth it.  Connection is worth it.  It’s why I’m so passionate about relationships and why it’s my life mission to help people feel wanted, connected, and powerful.  Sometimes shit hits the fan and it feels it’s too hard or impossible to heal.  Hell, half my work was about getting over the fear of feeling pain or heartbreak.  The other portion was about observing where I was getting love, support, and understanding but wasn’t able to see it.  

My Question for You

Where do you want to feel more love with yourself, others, and/ or your community? What is preventing you from having that? How will you choose to communicate the things that are important to you?

With love,

Dawn

Dawn with Hands on heart
Dawn
Posted in Cultures and Communities, Europe, Hiking & Healing, Relationships, The Touch Crisis, Touch Remedies | Tagged connection, gestalt therapy, jung, loneliness, love and loss, meeting people, relationships, touch remedies, traveling | Leave a reply
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