Blog - Touch Remedies

Is There Positive Emotional Baggage & Stuff?

Posted on June 7, 2021 by Touch RemediesSeptember 28, 2021

This is not the first time I’ve downsized and let go of stuff. I sold my house in Red Wing and moved into a townhouse one year before I moved to Sweden. I did another round of downsizing when I moved out of the townhouse to head overseas. I’m doing it again in preparation for a simple and more flexible way of living. Plus, I don’t want a storage unit, nor do I want to burden my parents with too much stuff in their space.

Hard to Let Go

I thought letting go would get easier. Yet the ‘stuff’ leftover is the stuff that has the most emotional connection for me.

This Bear

It was 2005 or so, and I was pushing myself hard—running a business with multiple employees, teaching 12 credits at the technical college, and going to school myself. Suddenly, my body couldn’t take it anymore and I got really sick. Unable to move kind of sick.

Anyone who knows me knows I have limited capacity for movies and television. I’m too restless and really like doing stuff all the time (although that has become much better since Europe.) To get me to sit still for 2+ hours was a feat—unless I was cuddling, multitasking, or at a theater. I was so exhausted I watched the whole Godfather series back-to-back without fidgeting.

Learning From My Students

My teaching assistant taught my classes then stopped by with a card and this bear from my students. I was shocked! So much so, I don’t even think I gave them a proper “thank you” when I did have the strength to resume teaching.

I honestly hadn’t thought my teaching performance was high-level. It fell far short of the quality I demanded of myself. Stressed out and distracted, I flagellated myself for my lack of attentiveness and awareness of their individual struggles; my lack of support; the ability to communicate the nuances of energy, touch, intention and healing to them; my ability to help them heal. I didn’t feel as connected emotionally or energetically to the students as I had in past years because I was too busy doing stuff to focus on the relationships. I learned that perhaps they were more forgiving of me than I was with myself.

A Reminder

This bear has served as a reminder to me to be gentle with myself. To find balance. To let go of internal and external expectations. That health comes first. That relationships are more important than stuff and doing.

The Other Side

Yet at the same time the second hardest thing to let go of was my PILES of flashcards. To me this represented time, schooling, energy, the intent to absorb all the knowledge conveyed in my classes. I threw out piles before I even decided to take these pictures. I felt like I was throwing away hours of work + piles of knowledge.

Flashcards in French and Swedish, of homeopathic remedy themes and indications, anatomy cards highlighting parts of the brain and where all your organs attach to your bones and other soft tissues. They felt like a time capsule of my big tests and academic passions from high school to this year.

The Anxiety hit…maybe I should save them and start studying again! After all, it would be great to brush up on my French. I used to be fluent-why not fire up those neurological pathways and capture the beauty of the language of love? Stuff my free time with remembering all the stuff I used to know?

Let Go to Grow

I’ve done one vision board in my life. It’s three pages (because I folded the board like a book to organize it into personal, professional, and travel. Letting go of stuff reminds me to grow. That clinging onto past relationships, belief systems, icons, and self-imposed measurements doesn’t serve.

I also let go of letters from students and past boyfriends, of cards from people who have died, as well as the subtle belief that I need those items to keep those memories and feelings close to my heart. The items themselves do not make me a better teacher, mentor, healer, or person. The lessons I learned from those people are invaluable. I can honor that best by facilitating similar life-changing experiences for those who ask.

What Are You Ready to Let Go Of?

I’m not still talking about stuff, although maybe that is it for you. What do you envision in your life? What would make you joyful, free, happy? I can help you explore and let go. The clutter, the self-judgment, the expectations. You deserve it.

Are you interested in a deeper conversation about how explore this yourself? Schedule a free session with me. I’d love to help.

With love,

Dawn

Limited Capacity for Other People

Posted on June 7, 2021 by Touch RemediesJune 7, 2021

Have you ever felt the loss of a relationship and wondered what happened? Maybe a friendship, a marriage, a partnership, a work colleague who moved on and forgot that you existed because you weren’t seeing each other daily? The effort it took to stay connected was suddenly too much? Perhaps one of you got too busy, too complacent, too comfortable and it had nothing to do with capacity.

Perhaps instead you were excited about something—an idea, an event, an opportunity—and then the excitement just… disappeared.

Limited Capacity

I’ve realized I have limited capacity.

I know… it shocked me too! I’ve been starting to do (really bad but I’m learning) videos that I’m posting on YouTube, creating new classes, new business offerings, and finishing the co-authored book that was started two years ago; we were going to meet April 2020 to finalize and release it in November, but just met this April instead. (Look for the launch in January 2022!)

Although I’m great at pushing myself physically and mentally, especially in my business, it turns out there is a limited capacity for creativity. For connecting through words and ideas.

When I’m expending my energy creatively, it turns out I have no energy for daily chitchat with people—even those I love dearly. I want solitude and sometimes want to escape from everything. But I’ve also found that even though my capacity to text, talk, and facetime has shifted, my capacity for love, acceptance, and compassion has not. Even though my last blog talked about how I was “trained to hate women,” I honestly don’t. It was an awareness of the training and the subtle belief systems that make me wary, that made me sensitive, that made me suspicious about others’ motives. When I wrote the blog, I had to be honest to what came up in the healing session-as dramatic and judgmental as it sounded.

Multiple Roles

We are all involved in multiple relationships and play multiple roles in our lives. Whether that be at work, home, with friends, volunteer organizations, spiritual and religious communities- we only have so much capacity. There’s even the theory that we only have capacity to maintain 150 relationships of any type at once.

So what happens when our energy, our passion, and our drive gets spent schooling the kids. Doing zoom meetings. Avoiding people at the grocery store. How does that impact our personal and intimate relationships? How does that affect our husband/wife/partner?

So many people have divorced and broken up during this pandemic. Why?

They Are Driving Me CRAZY!

Some would say it’s because their partner drove them crazy. What happened to the love and desire to be together? How did YOU change—your internal expectations, beliefs, and sensitivities—and project that onto your partner without any communication? How did your partner being home or around more often shift your role in the family unit? Where did you lose your capacity?

What is the Role You Each Play?

Is your role your identity? Was your partner’s role theirs? What is your capacity for being present to the reason things have shifted? The understanding of the loss of connection?

Connection starts by observing self and understanding your own drive. When we are so tied to our identity and/or role, and become offended, hurt, challenged, or self-conscious when another doesn’t help us align with that role-doesn’t play the part they have always played—that is not the other person’s fault.

Limited Capacity for Relationships

If you find yourself “breaking up” with friends, family members, or partners because belief systems are different, it’s a great time to come to me for some Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) sessions. Why? Because it’s your own internal sensitivity being challenged. Your own belief system.

Your Own Unresolved Subconscious Crap Creates A Lot of Problems

How do I know? I can listen to people on totally opposite ends of the spectrum from me. I may be dismayed, shocked, turned-off, or confused by their logic, however I don’t take it personally and don’t feel the need to attack them for their beliefs. Instead I have an open conversation about it—if they choose. (Plus our brains all work differently and I learn TONS from other peoples’ perspectives.)

The more healing I do around my belief systems, the less triggered and upset I get. The more capacity I have for love, openness, and compassion.

Limited Capacity for Openness

Can you be open to listening without offense when others share an opposite opinion? Becoming offended, judgmental, and angry does nothing. Nothing to solve problems nor create solutions. Especially in interpersonal relationships.

If you find yourself more stressed than usual because of the last year, and of what others are doing/thinking/believing, and are open to a conversation, give me a call or schedule a chat here.

I’m here for you. Non-judgmentally and with open arms.

With love,

Dawn

Have I Learned To Hate Women?

Posted on May 25, 2021 by Touch RemediesMay 25, 2021

The Hidden Belief Exposed

“It’s hard to hate women when there’s so much awesomeness around me.” The words that came from my mouth on the fourth day of class shocked me. Where on earth did that come from? Here I am, on a massage table, getting CranioSaral work by at least five women, and THAT is what I say?

I laughed out loud. Partially because it was a funny statement, partially because I had no idea where it came from, and partially because I was waiting for the judgement to rain down.

I went back to my campsite that evening after a soak in the hot springs. It was 1 am; I was mulling over my experiences so far.

All week, every relationship that has come up that has needed healing was a betrayal by another woman. From secrets being betrayed, my body being judged, my ideas being shot down, my motives scorned. There wasn’t room for me in this world as a strong, independent woman in my younger years, and I had carried this forward in my body.

A Simple Intention To Heal

My physical intention for this week-long CranioSacral class was easy: Release the scar tissue in my lungs and chest that had been created by the mold exposure as well as the damage caused by the refrigerator that crushed me against a steel beam and caused me to lose function in my right arm for a few weeks.

My Emotional intention was even easier (so I thought.) To heal old relationship issues so I could open my heart even more. After all-I’m still friendly with most of my exes… I knew where my fear was, what my belief system was. I just needed a bit of support clearing that.

Ha. I thought I had work to do around my relationships with men. It makes me chuckle now.

The Introduction

Sitting in the room of 10 female students and 2 female teaching assistants (and the one male teacher) the first day of class, I found ease, grace, and familiarity in us all staking our claim in our roles in the introductions. Like a litany of triumphs- whether traumas, successes, or life struggles.

My name is x, here’s my intention of learning and/or healing for the week, here’s the experiences I’ve had. Strong identities shared. Here is my story. This is what you get to see of me. This is how I choose to portray myself.

A safe space to share trauma is rare. But allowing another woman to see the strength you hold; the power and beauty and sexuality—unheard of.

So we hid. Behind stories. Or perhaps—it was just me hiding. Behind my own ego, my own belief that my 23 years of healing myself had somehow brought me to a different level.

Are Women Taught To Hate Women?

Our group discussion as women the day after my session was fascinating. The same themes came up over and over.

“I don’t trust women.”

“I’ve never experienced love and trust for a group of women before.”

“We are taught as a society to judge and hate women. WTF.”

Together, this group of women let go of hate and bonded in a tighter way than I have ever experienced.

A woman who shared the experience on the table with me said, “Dawn feels like a sister. I wasn’t going to let go of her hand until I knew she was okay.” She turned to me. Protective. Powerful. “I don’t trust very many women. But I can honestly say I love you.”

We discussed how society had trained us to be competitive, mistrustful, judgmental, and hateful towards each other. Not how men had, but how other women had. How we, as women, had lost so much by betraying each other.

Am I Being Melodramatic?

Even writing this story—it seems excessive. Is it true we’ve been taught to distrust and hate each other so much? Reflecting on my experiences + how I hear my male friends discuss how baffled they are by the way women treat each other—I would say yes.

Ask me who my five closest friends are—the ones who know the most about me, who I trust with my life and my soul—only one is female. Fascinating. I’m not judging that or even saying it should be more balanced. Just noticing. Very curious. Curious about the hidden culture that set me up to distrust women—and how my mind latched onto unhealed past circumstances to believe it.

A Personal History of Betrayal; Unhealed Circumstances

Maybe it started in first grade when a classmate called me a whore. I didn’t even know what it meant, but I could tell she was angry and that it was really mean.

Maybe it was in 5th grade when one of my good friends made me choose between her and my other two female friends. I was told I must align or be left behind. I chose wrong that time. The second time she gave me that ultimatum she lost my friendship—or what was left of it.

Maybe it was in sixth grade when a friend told my secret to the whole school. When I got home I got in trouble for sharing the same secret. Doubly shamed.

Maybe it was the girls who made fun of me when I developed early; perhaps it was my male friends’ girlfriends who assumed I was sleeping with their partners, as they clung with a jealous ferocity to the boy they had captured.

Maybe it was the time in high school when I overheard two women talking about how I was having sex with my boyfriend; their shocked tones and catty judgement easy to hear through the bathroom stall.

Hell, I didn’t know I was doing the stuff they said I was doing with him. I would have been shocked at myself too at that age.

College Was No Different

Perhaps it was observing women at the university; they were cruel to each other, judging, commenting, hiding their insecurity behind a superiority complex and trendy clothing. I wanted nothing to do with it. I preferred the martial arts gym with the men where acceptance seemed easy.

Perhaps it was one of my closest female friends forgetting I existed when I was in my 20s; knowing I was staying at her house for the weekend so I could go to school, yet inviting her closest 5 female friends over to dress up and have dinner together. She was very cordial about inviting me into the group when I returned from school and they were gathered together. She even offered to share her dinner with me.

No, Thanks.

Perhaps it was being accused of disrespecting women’s relationships. Maybe it was because I portrayed myself as confident and independent and it made others uncomfortable.

I Really Do Like Women!

I’m not the first woman who has written about this cultural phenomena. Personally, I like and love women as individuals. I love my clients, my friends, the females who have mentored me and supported me along the way.

I just didn’t have any awareness of how guarded I am when women get together in a group. Whatever happened in class this last week pulled the remaining trauma out of my body and my system. It’s been transformative. Emotional.

It reminded me how important it is to continue our own healing processes. How vital it is to look into the shadow side of ourselves; how our unhealed situations in our past as well as familial patterns influence our current reality.

If you are interested in exploring your unhealed moments in time, schedule a health and healing strategy session with me. I’d love to have that conversation with you.

With love,

Dawn

Why do we want the things that aren’t good for us?

Posted on March 10, 2021 by Touch RemediesMarch 10, 2021

Sugar, alcohol, relationships, social media. Overindulgence at many levels. We try to stop, but just like we rebelled against authority when we were young, our minds rebel against the restrictions we attempt to put on those foods we crave.

Why can’t we control cravings?

There are consistent patterns that become clear when people begin using EFT tapping to clear their cravings, compulsions, and addictive habits.

Food contains love.

This chocolate reminds me of Sweden and my friends there.

Does that ice cream remind you of warm, sunny days with your grandparents? Does that chocolate remind you of the romantic time in Belgium? Or maybe it’s hanging out with a dear friend and laughing your head off. Maybe that alcohol is a great reward for a long day’s work, or makes you feel like you are relaxing at home…even if you are still doing necessary tasks for your family and household.

The Internal Critic

Our favorite indulgences can also serve to numb or avoid the negative self-talk… or reinforce it. What a great way to self-punish? “I’m already angry at myself for messing up that relationship. What’s it matter if I put on a few extra pounds?” Then we can flagellate ourselves for eating too much. “See, you can’t even stop eating chips. No wonder no one loves you.”

Safety

Many people, especially women, gain weight as a form of protection after a history of abuse or relationships gone awry. It’s easier not to be seen than to be seen as a sexual object. It’s dangerous not to overindulge.

Emotional Regulation

It can also be a great avoidance mechanism of our deeper thoughts. We eat because we are bored, avoiding doing a task, or because the action of the stimulant (or depressant) changes our hormones. We use food, alcohol, and drugs to cope.

It doesn’t stop there

Don’t be fooled. Overworking, exercise, and being busy all the time can also be used for emotional numbing or regulation. It’s just more accepted by our culture to overwork than to overeat. As is our television and internet consumption. Research shows EFT can permanently help change that..

You can break those cravings and still have the foods you love.

I’m not talking about those who have a true addiction. I’m not telling someone in AA to “just have a drink.” I’ve talked in past blogs about societal pressure around alcohol.

What I am saying is you can learn to find the love without the food so you can eat and drink as a choice. When you do your healing work, letting go of the compulsions becomes easy. Watch my story about alcohol below to learn more.

https://youtu.be/8Fh6AGZY8nw

Take an EFT Tapping Class

I’m offering a special 4-week class that will teach you how to work with some of your compulsions and cravings. Sign up HERE for the EFT for Cravings Class.

Do cravings, compulsions, or your body image impact your relationships? Do you have problems with intimacy because of your past history or your new body after children, weight gain, or emotional disconnection? Sign up for my class on intimacy too. (If these classes are already closed, here’s the link to the schedule.)

I’d love to help you any way I can. Sign up here for a complimentary Health & Healing Strategy session when you are ready to take a next step and talk one-to-one about your challenges and how we can heal them. I’m here for you.

With love,

Dawn

Pictures Never do Nature Justice

Posted on March 9, 2021 by Touch RemediesMarch 9, 2021

No matter how hard I try to take pictures that capture the beauty and energy of my travels, and no matter how beautiful the area, I can’t seem to do it. Pictures don’t pick up on the subtle nuances, the play of colors, the reflections of light… unless you have an amazing camera at the perfect time of the day and at the perfect angle. Even then, the soul of the space can be elusive.

It’s the Same In Relationships

The emotions and beliefs that drive each of us are so subtle, so nuanced, and so under-the-surface that one can be experiencing reactions and emotions for seemingly no reason. For example, I mentioned in a social media post February 18th about a conversation I overheard at a campfire that reminded me of a time in my life I used to question really little things my partner was doing.

Why Am I Questioning?

“Are you sure you added enough seasoning?” “Is it time to check the steak on the grill?” “Don’t you think that adding the garlic now will make it burn?”

I Thought I was Being Curious and Helpful

I did not realize what I was doing at the time, even after I had a partner call me out on it. “Why are you always questioning what I’m doing?” he asked. I told him I was just trying to learn. Which, in a way, I was.

I was aware enough at the time to know that I didn’t get why people were doing things different, and that there may be ‘better’ ways to do something than what I had learned.

The True Picture

Underlying the questioning was a subtle worry and anxiety nagging me that it “wasn’t the right way” or that something would get wrecked or the flavors wouldn’t be as great. It may be good that way, but wouldn’t it be better if it was done this way?

Looking back I think, does it really even matter?

The Great Chili Experiment

I made chili for one of my parties and a chef that attended commented, “You toasted the spices first, didn’t you?” I was stunned he could taste the difference. He tole me he was impressed. I didn’t toast spices for the chef; I did it to be fun and to see if I could tell the difference. Yet on some other days when my partner made dinner I would hover, thinking it wouldn’t be as good if he didn’t do (insert whatever action I was anxious about that day.)

What Drives You (That Drives Others Nuts?)

So what drives you in a relationship (familial, friend, professional, or intimate) that causes disharmony? Picture the last time you were anxious or upset about something little. What creates that little bit of dis-ease inside your body or brain? What are you are personally sensitive to about what your partner is doing, and where may that come from? Often what we are sensitive to in others reflects our own insecurities, belief systems, or judgements within our selves.

The Emotional Disharmony Can Clear

Using EFT Tapping to remove those worries, habits, or beliefs will not take away your personality or prevent you from speaking your truth. It’s like wiping the fingerprints off your camera lens so your picture is crystal clear. It is healthy and important to feel all of your emotions. It’s good for each of us to be challenged, to question others, to learn from observation and experience, and to have differences of opinion. But it’s also empowering to slow down, be patient, and observe.

Are Your Emotions Bringing You Closer to Happiness?

However, if you find yourself interfering, judging, jealous, irritated, or critical instead of curious, open, playful, and accepting with those you care about or must work with, I can help you. Picture your ideal level of communication in a relationship. EFT can help you navigate feelings that may be lying under the surface. You can step into your highest and most honest level of communication in a way that serves both you and the person you are communicating with.

Give me a call or text at 651-401-6131 or join one of my classes if anything above sounds familiar. Do you just want to chat for 30 to see how I can support you? Schedule that here. I’d love to help.

With love,

Dawn

SEX! (Now What Are You Thinking?)

Posted on February 27, 2021 by Touch RemediesMarch 23, 2021

Photo by Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha https://sexualalpha.com/

Sex. The word alone brings up different images, ideas, and belief systems for everyone. Perhaps you are singing a George Michael song in your head now.

Or maybe you are thinking about playfulness, connection, and love. Others are thinking of embarrassment, shame, religion, trauma, or manipulation. Sex can be equated with power or equality, connection or separation.

Perhaps you have images of lengthy, slow, explorative, sensual, erotic tantric sessions or lively, exciting, powerful, sweaty, screaming, vigorous experiences. Awkward first explorations or easy synergistic rhythms born from familiarity.

Lust or love. Any combination of any of the above. The list goes on and on.

Maybe you are judging me for talking about sex.

How Do You WANT to Feel About Sex?

I have EFT clients who WANT to want sex with their partner. Yet something stands in the way. The lack of sex is blamed on stress. Schedules. Kids. Lack of desire/ hormones. Body image challenges. (Am I really desirable? I have x, y, or z wrong with my body. If my partner desires me… they must be crazy!) Feelings of duty, anger, frustration, disconnection, shame, or memories of trauma haunt the bedroom.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a. EFT or Tapping) Can Help You Desire AND Enjoy Sex!

Most sexual dysfunction has an emotional root. Even when lack of desire, lack of orgasm, premature ejaculation, or body response challenges seem hormonal or physically related, clearing emotions, trauma, shame, guilt, fear, and/or belief systems can restore optimal sexual drive, and performance. EFT can restore your enjoyment–or allow you to find it if you haven’t before!

Your Bedroom is Your Business

It doesn’t matter what you want your sex life to look like. Heck, maybe all you want is healthy touch and an opportunity to cuddle. Perhaps a connection needs to be built or rebuilt before sex is even on the table. Maybe you are trying to learn your own body through masturbation and are still having challenges. Healing so you can find satisfaction, whether with self or other, is all possible with EFT.

Let’s Have an Honest Chat

Some people are still trying to figure out their own body and what they want (and don’t) in the bedroom. Maybe what you want is the courage to talk to your partner about curiosities, explorations, deeper desires or fantasies. Perhaps you just want the courage and words to gently educate another on what you like.

All of This is Possible with EFT

I can help you. Whether you want to work as an individual or a couple, book a strategy session and see if EFT Tapping is a good fit for you. If it feels more comfortable, start with a class. I’ve helped others through this, and I would love to help you too.

With love,

Dawn

The Little Things Add Up

Posted on February 26, 2021 by Touch RemediesFebruary 27, 2021

I explored Death Valley National Park Thursday. I was high-energy, motivated, and feeling playful. After a longer hike in the morning I had plenty of energy left, so kept exploring. With the sun high in the sky, rock music playing on the radio, and coffee in hand–because those little things added to the amazing energy–I decided to knock out a couple of scenic drives that had some small walks and overlooks. When I got back to my campsite, I was a bit tired, and climbed into my tent to do some stretching before starting the bonfire. I woke at 1 am, wondering what had happened, and why I was so exhausted.

Little Things Add Up

Years of water forms beautiful spiraled canyons

Looking back, I had knocked out almost 15 miles of hiking, mostly in mountainous and hilly terrain. No wonder! This happens in all areas of our lives, especially in personal and professional relationships. Those little things we say to others; the small ways in which we are critical, or in which we don’t ask for our own needs to be met; those unspoken expectations that create a feeling of being unloved, unwanted, or unappreciated. Little things can become really big things–the same the way water can carve through rock little by little over time.

It’s Different For Everyone

Some people love getting praise and appreciation for their efforts and it spurs them to do more and be better; others do not-and it can even make them feel embarrassed and unmotivated to do it again. I am not one to be motivated by praise. I had a partner that was, so I had to make a conscious choice to think about giving him what he needed.

Are You Being Polite?

Some of us, especially in midwestern culture, were taught (via example and words) to be nice, polite, or stoic. We were subtly taught to not ask for what we want; in fact, we often were shown by example to politely turn down offers a couple times before accepting something we did. Or that it’s polite to offer over and over again if another turns us down, just in case. How odd is that?

It Is Not Rude to Say Yes to What You Want

I don’t believe we have to give up our own needs to be kind to others. It’s also not rude to accept another person’s offer if we really want to. I’m also not saying you should never compromise, or that consciously choosing to do for another is bad.

However, for healthy relationships to exist, you MUST be comfortable communicating what you want and need. Period. To do that, you must also be AWARE of what you want and need and overcome any emotional hesitation to speaking that truth.

Start With the Little Things

EFT Tapping can help you speak your truth. I can help you clear those hesitations and brain patterns that have you automatically saying no when you mean yes. You can have everything you want if you can clearly ask for it. That means you also have to believe you deserve it. That you are worth it. That in a healthy relationship of any kind, others want to give back to you—even if their way looks different.

Don’t Exhaust Yourself

When you find yourself feeling disconnected or unappreciated in any kind of relationship (personal, professional, or intimate) give me a call. More often than not EFT tapping can clear the little things that are adding up to those big emotions.

Little things matter. You matter. Let me help. Call me or join my upcoming EFT Tapping class now! It’s only $17 + 48 hours before class starts–you will receive a link to get a second person in FOR FREE. I’m here for you.

With love,

Dawn

You Can’t Go Home Again… Or Can You?

Posted on January 26, 2021 by Touch RemediesJanuary 26, 2021

My Parents’ Home

I went to my parents’ house out in the country and took a hike into the back hills where I used to frolic as a child. Memories came flooding back as I wandered through the open, snowy woods.

My Neighbors

I remembered the neighbor, Ms. Mueller, who I had been told was a survivor from World War II and the Nazi camps. She lived up the hill behind our house on her own, windows covered with black garbage bags. I was always told not to bother her, yet if I saw her outside of her house curiosity would win over and I’d talk to her. She was very kind, if not a little strange. My dad would tell me that was part of her PTSD, but I didn’t really know what that meant.

For the Love of A Child

In elementary school one year we made paper May Day baskets, decorated them with crayon, and filled them with candy. I decided I wanted to give a basket to her; perhaps she was lonely and need some drawings for her refrigerator. I hung it on her doorknob and knocked on her door and ran into the woods to watch, terrified and excited. Would she be angry for being disturbed? I didn’t even know which of her two doors she used. I waited for a while, then ran up again and knocked on the other door even harder, confused at the lack of response. She never answered the door, and I left a bit disappointed, but hopeful she would find it later.

Home Has Changed

The structure of the forest has changed. I searched for the tree where I used to hide out and read books in my dad’s deer stand. (Around the age of 8 I “ran away” and was determined I’d live there to show my mom how much I didn’t need her rules.) The sacred meadow where I used to sit on the rock and overlook the cow pasture is now full of bushes and trees and thorns. A temporary deer stand exists elsewhere, ladder propped against a young vital tree that can hold the weight.

Can You Go Home Again?

When I come here and go into the woods, I remember the simple innocence; the comfort of wanting to be away but knowing I had a place to return to where I was loved. I think about all those who don’t have that right now and feel trapped in houses with people who don’t love them.

It’s more common individuals are with partners or family who DO love them–but are unable to feel it. Just like when I was young and I didn’t realize how I was being loved by my parents—especially in the times of boundary struggles.

Community Support

The water is off. I know 20 years ago I could have walked to any neighbor’s house to refill the water jugs. I’m sure I still could, but it feels different doing it now, since I don’t know the neighbors, than it did when I could bike to the neighboring farm to ask for a cup of sugar for my mom. Why is that? Has living in the city and owning my own house and seeing the separation of the world taken away my ability to knock on someone’s door? Maybe I should tap on that.

Have Neighborly Ways Changed?

I’m not scared and I know I won’t get hurt. It’s almost as if there’s an unwritten social rule. I guess I could go knock and introduce myself. I don’t know why asking for water seems like a harder step. If I were in a foreign country, I probably would, as if being a foreigner excuses my need. But I’m home, aren’t I?

I’ve Changed More Than Home Has

As I followed the deer paths, the landscape no longer looked familiar to me. I remember coming here when I was 24. I think it’s the last time I was out here. My cat had died unexpectedly in front of me the same day I broke up with a boyfriend.

I had returned to bury my cat next to my childhood dog, and took to the woods to heal my broken heart. I sat on a fallen tree, laid down and promptly fell asleep. The sun was in a different space when I awoke, and a deer was calmly grazing nearby. She looked at me as I rolled my head to look at her more clearly, and we shared a moment together. She kept eating, and slowly ambled away. It connected me to what’s real.

What’s My Point?

It was a reminder connection and love is eternal, no matter how painful it can be. Peace can be found in gentle moments, no matter where home is or isn’t. Even in the grief of a death, even when all feels lost, there is still the part of self that grew from that connection.

That’s what I choose to take back with me to the city. Stillness. Hope. Knowledge that beauty is unfolding and will expose itself when this part of the journey is done.

What is Home for You?

If you are struggling with connection in your family relationships, whether in or out of your current home, I can help. EFT tapping is amazing at helping move through feelings of disconnection, anger, loneliness, betrayal, stress, and feelings of lack of intimacy. Reach out for a free health and healing strategy session and let’s figure out how to make you find that feeling that home is safe and calm for you.

With love,

Soulmates, Synchronicities, and EFT Tapping

Posted on January 5, 2021 by Touch RemediesJanuary 6, 2021

Guilty Pleasures

I have a really guilty pleasure of pulling oracle cards and watching group tarot readers online. It’s similar to how some people like watching 90 Day Fiancé or Top Chef. I don’t do it all the time, but I get curious about energies and I listen for synchronicities. After all—we see the world as we are. Whatever I hear is what I am meant to, and perhaps what I need to use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) for. One reader says, “Take what resonates and leave the rest, because it was meant for someone else.”

Hearing the Message

I liken it to the friend (or parent) who gives you advice over and over and you don’t hear it until you are in a place where you can hear it; It gives me clues to where I am in my own world and own head and what ego-trips, limiting beliefs, or self-talk loops are in my way. Sometimes I used to flip a coin if I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat; the coin flip would either make the choice for me, or I’d realize I was disappointed in the outcome and know I actually wanted the other meal. This is what my guilty pleasure helps me suss out.

Synchronicity

Just after Thanksgiving I was listening to an online reader who said, “You’ve been doing so much work, your soulmate is on the way.” I was really excited and intrigued at the idea. I had been doing the classwork for Learning To Find Love, a specialty relationship Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) training. I’m open to the possibility there’s someone I’ll gel with out there, as much as I like being independent and alone.

The idea also was exciting in an anxiety-producing way. You know… the type of excitement where you want something but you are scared to have it? A week later I found myself unable to sleep and thought I’d listen to another tarot reader for the first week in December.

She pulled the Twin Flame card and said, “You have gone through challenges and upheaval but Cancers are in a new place. Get ready for your Twin Flame.”

Cue The Brain’s Resistance

Now I really started to get nervous. What would that look like to actually have a long-term partner again? If I found one in the U.S would I get “trapped” here forever? If he was from another country, would I end up moving and leaving my people behind, forever? Would I lose my freedom, my individuality?

My EFT Relationship Coaching instructors have said over and over, “The right person makes a relationship easy.” I can have everything I want and I won’t lose myself? My brain doesn’t quite process. Society and experience tell me that’s not true.

Tapping Through It

I did a bunch of EFT (also known as tapping) work with my fellow classmate around the fear of actually finding a life partner that would suit. I put my EFT to the test, confident and egotistically sure I’d done the work and couldn’t be triggered. Instead of turning on my music one morning, I decided to listen to a third tarot reader. She also pulled the soulmate card. Let me tell you–I’ve never seen this kind of consistency between readers before.

Then I had to process the next aspect of fear. What if I decide not to go to Costco and that’s where I was supposed to meet him? Perhaps I missed him because I was in my head, ungrounded & not paying attention? Suddenly, the fear of NOT finding him seemed to outweigh the idea that I would. Then, I got to use EFT to clear that. Now I’m just chilly cool. If he shows up he does, if not, no big deal. Perhaps my soulmate is around and it’s just not the right time yet. Who knows? I certainly don’t claim to.

Letting Go

I had to get rid of leftover BS from past relationships that were preventing me from finding someone or getting into a relationship again. After all, maybe what I was actually meant to learn was that I needed to do work around my fears of having a partner and my resistance to it so I can help others. Perhaps I get to also let go of the idea it has to be ‘now.’ I know my clients would LOVE it if I found someone local and never moved away again. My traveling spirit doesn’t see that happening. Maybe I’ll tap on that next.

My Question for You

If the genie in the bottle or the psychic or the angel came and told you your future, what would scare and excite you the most? What emotions (or belief, judgement, resistance, observation, etc.) need to be cleared for your own healing process so you can accept the happiness you deserve?

Maybe you already know what your biggest fear is. Or maybe it’s hidden under a layer of self-talk, even the talk seems to be positive. Like “I’m amazing and independent and strong and I don’t need anybody.” We can hide fear and resistance behind ‘positive’ ideas just as much as behind ‘negative.’

Let’s Chat!

Let’s explore this together! Set up a Health & Healing Strategy Session to learn how EFT tapping can help you discover and move through your blind spots and stuck spaces.

With love,

Dawn

Saying ‘Yes’ to a Person and ‘No’ to Touch

Posted on January 3, 2021 by Touch RemediesJanuary 3, 2021

Saying ‘Yes’ and ‘No’

“Are you accepting hugs?” I asked my friend, Jason, at the ski hill just before he opened his arms to welcome me into his space. I had been running into people I hadn’t seen in over nine months my first day back at the slopes, and had enjoyed the variety of connection opportunities.

After sharing a lovely hug, I turned to a nearby acquaintance of ours. He was sitting distant to everyone, drinking a beer, and before I could even open my mouth to say hello, he looked at me sternly, held up his hands, and crossed his fingers towards my face.

What the hell? I thought, immediately offended. I’m sure he heard and saw me ask for permission before entering Jason’s space. I wasn’t going to bombard him with a hug.

“Hey there,” I said to him. He’s frightened I’m sure, and probably didn’t mean ill wishes towards me. He just stared at me, nodded his head, and turned back to his beer.

The fact he wants space doesn’t bother me, I thought. It was the look combined with the gesture, as if he was warding off evil. I know in Japan it is the gesture to ask for a check, but here I take it as a rude “get away from me.”

Saying ‘Yes’ While Asking For Space

There have been various versions of this scenario throughout the pandemic; although this was the most off-putting and rude way someone has asked for space, I can’t help but remember that many of us have not learned how to say ‘yes’ to a person while maintaining distance. In other words, how to acknowledge another person’s presence while simply and honestly stating one’s boundaries.

I have seen people place hands together in a gentle ‘namaste’ as a greeting. Others simply state they are maintaining physical distance. I have seen people wave or step back with a gentle verbal reminder that they would like some space. To me, these seem like gentle ways to address the desire for connection (a yes to the person) while asking for distance.

It’s Different with Strangers–Or Can Be

With strangers I have had the experience of people shrinking away in fear if I walk too close on a hiking trail; others just step off the trail and wait for me to pass-or vice versa. I have seen people get out of line at the grocery store if someone is too close, while others wait (patiently) for an isle to be vacant before entering themselves. There is not necessarily a need to say ‘yes’ to a stranger, but one can choose the level of grace and fear that accompanies non-verbal communication.

Saying ‘Yes’ as A Skill

Saying ‘yes’ to a person and ‘no’ to touch is a communication skill that was important way before this pandemic. Have you ever had to redirect a child who wants to be held while you are occupied? Perhaps you have said something like, “Not now, honey, can you wait until after dinner?” Or, “I know you want to be on my lap right now, but I have to finish folding this laundry.”

Redirecting and saying ‘yes’ to a person goes beyond physical contact as well. Has your partner been focused on a project while you are trying to ask a question and said, “Can you wait a minute to talk about this until I’m done so I can give you my full attention?” Or, “I’ll help you as soon as I’m finished with this?”

I’m sure you’ve acknowledged someone’s presence or need for attention or an answer while also asking for a pause, for a moment or two until the timing is better.

This is saying ‘yes’ to a person and ‘no’ to the interruption. It is saying in a subtle way, “Hey, I hear you and I want to respond, but if you can wait a bit, I can engage in a manner that is more authentic, more thoughtful, more connected.”

We All Make Mistakes in Communication

Do we make mistakes consciously and subconsciously with communication verbally and non-verbally? Of course. Can each of us take offense to something that is not meant to be offensive? Absolutely. I did.

My Question For You

How can you choose to state your boundaries more clearly with those you interact with? When I teach classes about healthy touch and communication, we often discuss offering a series of options to another that suit your own boundaries. “Would you like…a high-five? Fist-bump? Handshake? Hug?”

Giving a few options within your own comfort level can be a helpful guide to the other whilst showing respect for their own boundaries. Or, clearly stating before any error is made, “I would love to give you a hug/ handshake, but I am choosing to maintain distancing at the moment. But it is lovely to see you.” Clear communication not only takes the awkwardness out of a situation, but shows a level of caring and respect.

Comfort Levels Change Around Touch

Permissions can also change day-by-day. A person who wants a hug on Monday may feel a bit sensitive on Friday, or may be starting to distance before they visit an elderly relative. It doesn’t hurt to ask. You can even make it playful! Find a few phrases that fit your boundaries and personality for the next time you run into someone you know. And remember, if someone says ‘no,’ don’t take it personally. Even if they come across rude or angry. After all, we are all doing the best we can at the moment; that too, needs to be respected.

Questions? Feel free to contact me directly or join one of my classes about healthy touch based off my book, The Touch Crisis.

With love,

Dawn