Emotions, Family, and Relationship to Self
Emotional Funk
When’s the last time you were in an emotional funk? Looking at past situations that still make us emotional–angry, sad, frustrated, scared, etc–can be liberating. Avoiding healing can put us into a temporary funk until we choose to get rid of the old and embrace the new.
Always more self to explore
No matter how much work I do on myself and clearing old patterns, beliefs, and messages, it seems there is always a way to explore more deeply. It’s really rewarding!
Take for example, family relationships. I come from an amazing supportive family, but I still created beliefs of I’m not good enough and I have to work hard to be loved when I was a child. Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a EFT or tapping), homeopathy, and the Hoffman Process have all been instrumental in changing that.
Family challenges
Some people aren’t as lucky. I have many women come for EFT tapping with a history of abuse, physical or emotional abandonment, and/or neglect. These powerful, strong women learn to move through their past and embrace their power, strength, and joy. Whereas holidays used to be torturous, they are now peaceful.
For some, death has separated family and created unexpected loneliness and grief. Others avoid family at all costs. Many choose their own family.
Family patterns influence relationships
We develop most of our beliefs before the age of five or six (or seven or eight, depending on what aspect of the brain we are discussing.) Our subconscious minds are programmed through identifying positive and negative things and then creating associations and emotions for each. For example, we absorb and mimic our parents and caretakers. Second, we have our own experience of how we are treated and cared for. We observe the world with different brain waves and an inability to use logic. What we are immersed in and exposed to informs what and who we become.
Our beliefs sneak in unwittingly
You have to work hard to be successful. I’m not good enough. Money doesn’t grow on trees. That’s stupid=I’m stupid. You are too old to act like that. Children should be seen and not heard. Others are more important than me. I am always wrong. People only want me for sex. Men should act like x. Women should act like y. Boys don’t cry. Women are weak. Poor people are/rich people are z. I need to act like or be __ to be loved.
These beliefs are insidious and sneaky. They define how you interact with relationships, money, society, food and alcohol, and yourself.
It can seem overwhelming
I’ve been doing healing work with myself and practitioners for 20 years. I’ve learned where my triggers are, why they are happening, and how to communicate clearly. Empathy has become easier. When others are hiding or reacting out of fear I can usually feel that. People have different views because of these beliefs. Individuals are often suffering inside, trying to find joy and happiness when these beliefs are telling them that they don’t GET to be happy.
Happiness and joy
My process of becoming joyful was not always fun. Finding joy does not mean I become perfectly neutral and never experience anger. That is an interesting concept some people, especially those wanting to travel a path towards enlightenment, seem to think is ideal. There is a wheel of emotions, and health to me means being able to access any of them.
Emotional health
In my opinion, the marker of emotional health is the ability to see a situation for what it is and how it makes you feel so you can respond to it and move through it. Denying emotion or pretending you are a positive person thus cannot (or should not) feel anger can be extremely damaging.
For example, I have a friend who used to say he never got angry. What he has realized over time is that he suppresses anger because he learned that anger=violence. So for self-preservation, he made a conscious choice to never feel anger.
Instead, those emotions were stored in his body. Those emotions created physical symptoms.
Now–was that function beneficial and helpful to him over parts of his life? Absolutely. Was it his best expression of health possible at the time? For sure. Can he (and you) learn to regulate emotions without suppressing them? Of course. Emotional Freedom Techniques is one of many ways you can learn to do that. (Here’s a 13 or 30-minute video if you want to see the science.)
Become your best self
What does that mean? My best self is aware, awake, and happy. It means I make choices from clarity and confidence instead of reactivity and fear. Talk to me if you want to hear more. Or, join one of my classes on Eventbrite.
Free Tapping Class for Loneliness
I am holding a free 4-week class on tapping for loneliness. You will learn to tap for yourself, AND how to apply these principles for all stresses in your life. Plus, the class is recorded so you can watch it anytime + go back to them. Contact me via Direct message, email, or text, and I will let you know when the final dates are scheduled..
With love and gratitude,
Dawn
True health is being able to access the range of your emotions. This is so important! Great post!