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Tag Archives: soulmate

SEX! (Now What Are You Thinking?)

Touch Remedies Posted on February 27, 2021 by Touch RemediesMarch 23, 2021
Photo by Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha https://sexualalpha.com/

Sex.  The word alone brings up different images, ideas, and belief systems for everyone. Perhaps you are singing a George Michael song in your head now. 

Or maybe you are thinking about playfulness, connection, and love.  Others are thinking of embarrassment, shame, religion, trauma, or manipulation.  Sex can be equated with power or equality, connection or separation.

Perhaps you have images of lengthy, slow, explorative, sensual, erotic tantric sessions or lively, exciting, powerful, sweaty, screaming, vigorous experiences.  Awkward first explorations or easy synergistic rhythms born from familiarity.

Lust or love.  Any combination of any of the above. The list goes on and on.

Maybe you are judging me for talking about sex.

How Do You WANT to Feel About Sex?

I have EFT clients who WANT to want sex with their partner.  Yet something stands in the way.  The lack of sex is blamed on stress. Schedules. Kids.  Lack of desire/ hormones.  Body image challenges. (Am I really desirable? I have x, y, or z wrong with my body.  If my partner desires me… they must be crazy!) Feelings of duty, anger, frustration, disconnection, shame, or memories of trauma haunt the bedroom.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a. EFT or Tapping) Can Help You Desire AND Enjoy Sex!

Most sexual dysfunction has an emotional root.  Even when lack of desire, lack of orgasm, premature ejaculation, or body response challenges seem hormonal or physically related, clearing emotions, trauma, shame, guilt, fear, and/or belief systems can restore optimal sexual drive, and performance. EFT can restore your enjoyment–or allow you to find it if you haven’t before!

Your Bedroom is Your Business

It doesn’t matter what you want your sex life to look like.  Heck, maybe all you want is healthy touch and an opportunity to cuddle.  Perhaps a connection needs to be built or rebuilt before sex is even on the table. Maybe you are trying to learn your own body through masturbation and are still having challenges. Healing so you can find satisfaction, whether with self or other, is all possible with EFT.

Let’s Have an Honest Chat

Some people are still trying to figure out their own body and what they want (and don’t) in the bedroom.  Maybe what you want is the courage to talk to your partner about curiosities, explorations, deeper desires or fantasies.  Perhaps you just want the courage and words to gently educate another on what you like.  

All of This is Possible with EFT

I can help you.  Whether you want to work as an individual or a couple, book a strategy session and see if EFT Tapping is a good fit for you.   If it feels more comfortable, start with a class. I’ve helped others through this, and I would love to help you too.  

With love,

Dawn

Nature of Relationships
Dawn with Hands on heart
Dawn
Nature of Relationships
Dawn with Hands on heart
Dawn
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Posted in EFT Tapping, Intimacy & Sexuality, Relationships, Soulmate, Women | Tagged desire, Eft, eft Tapping, emotional freedom techniques, marriage, orgasms, relationships, sex, sexuality, soulmate, the touch crisis, touch remedies

Soulmates, Synchronicities, and EFT Tapping

Touch Remedies Posted on January 5, 2021 by Touch RemediesJanuary 6, 2021

Guilty Pleasures

I have a really guilty pleasure of pulling oracle cards and watching group tarot readers online. It’s similar to how some people like watching 90 Day Fiancé or Top Chef.  I don’t do it all the time, but I get curious about energies and I listen for synchronicities. After all—we see the world as we are. Whatever I hear is what I am meant to, and perhaps what I need to use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) for.  One reader says, “Take what resonates and leave the rest, because it was meant for someone else.” 

Hearing the Message

I liken it to the friend (or parent) who gives you advice over and over and you don’t hear it until you are in a place where you can hear it; It gives me clues to where I am in my own world and own head and what ego-trips, limiting beliefs, or self-talk loops are in my way.  Sometimes I used to flip a coin if I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat; the coin flip would either make the choice for me, or I’d realize I was disappointed in the outcome and know I actually wanted the other meal.  This is what my guilty pleasure helps me suss out.

Synchronicity

Just after Thanksgiving I was listening to an online reader who said, “You’ve been doing so much work, your soulmate is on the way.” I was really excited and intrigued at the idea. I had been doing the classwork for Learning To Find Love, a specialty relationship Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) training. I’m open to the possibility there’s someone I’ll gel with out there, as much as I like being independent and alone.  

The idea also was exciting in an anxiety-producing way.  You know… the type of excitement where you want something but you are scared to have it?  A week later I found myself unable to sleep and thought I’d listen to another tarot reader for the first week in December.  

She pulled the Twin Flame card and said, “You have gone through challenges and upheaval but Cancers are in a new place.  Get ready for your Twin Flame.” 

Cue The Brain’s Resistance

Now I really started to get nervous.  What would that look like to actually have a long-term partner again? If I found one in the U.S would I get “trapped” here forever?  If he was from another country, would I end up moving and leaving my people behind, forever?  Would I lose my freedom, my individuality?  

My EFT Relationship Coaching instructors have said over and over, “The right person makes a relationship easy.” I can have everything I want and I won’t lose myself? My brain doesn’t quite process. Society and experience tell me that’s not true.

Tapping Through It

I did a bunch of EFT (also known as tapping) work with my fellow classmate around the fear of actually finding a life partner that would suit.  I put my EFT to the test, confident and egotistically sure I’d done the work and couldn’t be triggered.  Instead of turning on my music one morning, I decided to listen to a third tarot reader.  She also pulled the soulmate card.  Let me tell you–I’ve never seen this kind of consistency between readers before. 

Then I had to process the next aspect of fear.  What if I decide not to go to Costco and that’s where I was supposed to meet him?  Perhaps I missed him because I was in my head, ungrounded & not paying attention?  Suddenly, the fear of NOT finding him seemed to outweigh the idea that I would.  Then, I got to use EFT to clear that.  Now I’m just chilly cool.  If he shows up he does, if not, no big deal.  Perhaps my soulmate is around and it’s just not the right time yet. Who knows? I certainly don’t claim to.

Letting Go

I had to get rid of leftover BS from past relationships that were preventing me from finding someone or getting into a relationship again.  After all, maybe what I was actually meant to learn was that I needed to do work around my fears of having  a partner and my resistance to it so I can help others.  Perhaps I get to also let go of the idea it has to be ‘now.’ I know my clients would LOVE it if I found someone local and never moved away again. My traveling spirit doesn’t see that happening. Maybe I’ll tap on that next. 

My Question for You

If the genie in the bottle or the psychic or the angel came and told you your future, what would scare and excite you the most?  What emotions (or belief, judgement, resistance, observation, etc.) need to be cleared for your own healing process so you can accept the happiness you deserve? 

Maybe you already know what your biggest fear is.  Or maybe it’s hidden under a layer of self-talk, even the talk seems to be positive. Like “I’m amazing and independent and strong and I don’t need anybody.”  We can hide fear and resistance behind ‘positive’ ideas just as much as behind ‘negative.’

Let’s Chat!

Let’s explore this together!  Set up a Health & Healing Strategy Session to learn how EFT tapping can help you discover and move through your blind spots and stuck spaces. 

With love,

Dawn

Nature of Relationships
Dawn with Hands on heart
Dawn
Nature of Relationships
Dawn with Hands on heart
Dawn
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Posted in EFT Tapping, Relationships, Soulmate, Touch Remedies | Tagged eft Tapping, emotional freedom techniques, fear, future, healing, negative self-talk, self-talk, soulmate, touch remedies | Leave a reply

A Deep Journey Into the Fog

Touch Remedies Posted on December 20, 2020 by Touch RemediesDecember 21, 2020
Bluff view. John A. Latsch State Park

598 stairs into the clouds. The journey into the fog can be disconcerting.

The mighty Mississippi is there. Beyond the silence, if you listen, you can hear the trains in the distance.

The jays are calling. Yet nature feels fairly still.

Going Within

It felt really important yesterday. Drawing analogies between my healing process and nature. The external fog I know will lift as I hike compared to the fog within that is hiding something that is not quite seen, but ready to be revealed.

Trusting and knowing expansion and vibrancy will emerge through this journey, even as I sense tranquility deep within.

I know my urge to hibernate and rest is in preparation for the next phase. Two more books. Teaching. Helping others in their relationships. Travel. Just like nature, going within for the winter creates the vitality for coming out of hibernation.

Powerful Shifts

Something big is coming. I’ve felt it before when I was in Europe. When I was preparing to come home. When I knew I was in the middle of a big shift within myself and nothing would be the same again. This time it feels more powerful. More clear.

When I first came home from Europe I had changed so much I didn’t recognize my reactions to others. This year, for me, has been about listening to myself in relation to others. I’m great at hearing others. I see and understand their deep pain, sorrow, and grief. I enjoy reflecting their beauty deep within that they are afraid of, hiding, or unaware of.

Healing is Often a Journey

Anyone who knows me well knows I am always looking at my deeper self. When I am overly-reactive, I look at why. When I am sad, I allow myself to feel it, but if I cannot move through it, I look at the source of the sadness. If I don’t move through emotions, I do my work to get myself unstuck.

This year has been different.

It’s not just 2020

It is the planets! It has been a year of evaluating relationships of all sorts–past, present, and future. I changed so much that I got to see my “old” vs. “new” self reflected back. And now, amidst this, I am taking advanced EFT tapping training to help others do the same. I taking training on how to help others find their soulmate. Classes on how to help others find intimacy and connection in their relationships again.

Healer, Heal Thyself

Of course, do do any of that well, I have to understand myself first. This phrase is the key to my practice and to my own life journey. I had to look at how I was protecting myself from connecting with others. How I was hiding from love behind the idea that love and independence could not co-exist. That I have to be stronger than any partner so I don’t lose myself… so I didn’t end up being a possession.

Words of Wisdom

I was gently reminded love could exist without possession. The universe continues to send me messages from unexpected places to remind me I want (and deserve) more. I can also allow, instead of force.

“Just like Chinese medicine, relationships are a balance of yin and yang. You will both have both, but sometimes you need to allow your yang to soften, to allow the flow between two.”

My Question(s) for You

How do you hide yourself from feeling or expressing love? Where have you learned to protect your heart and how does that serve you now? Are you ready to be open?

More to Come

I have three more of these blogs in the queue. Perhaps I’m over-thinking life right now. But I don’t think so. I am sure my friends are sick of hearing of my self-analysis. But that’s okay. I know they love me anyway. For my strengths, my weaknesses, my quirkiness, my playfulness, and my ability to be vulnerable… and probably other reasons as well. And that is truly all that matters.

You are love, you are loving, and you are loveable.

Be yourself and be loved,

Dawn

Nature of Relationships
Dawn with Hands on heart
Dawn
Posted in Hiking & Healing, Relationships, Touch Remedies | Tagged healing, hibernate, HIking, intimacy, mississippiriver, relationships, solstice, soulmate, thetouchcrisis, touchremedies | 2 Replies

Healing The Touch Crisis… in Relationships

Touch Remedies Posted on November 25, 2020 by Dawn BNovember 29, 2020
How do you interpret touch

I started writing a post here about a month ago about my current thoughts on The Touch Crisis in our culture.  It turned into three pages of stuff that I realized belonged in my relationship book. 

My Next Books

Yes, you read that right.  I’ve been waking up in the morning with inspirations and ideas about my next books on touch–one for relationships and one regarding physical contact and children.  Also, to be thorough, I’ve been interviewing various psychologists, therapists, and families.  These conversations have lead me to recall and evaluate my own experiences in personal relationships. I have been exploring what I learned around healthy contact as a child. It’s healing work I have done before, but I always find another insight or memory to explore.

Finding a Soulmate

I just love people

There are a few partnerships/ marriages I have always admired. Somehow I thought I was too independent for that. Too free-spirited. Now I am immersed in two advanced Emotional Freedom Techniques certification programs. The first program is called Learning to Find Love. It is about healing old relationship patterns, beliefs, and aligning your energies to attract your soulmate. A big part of the class is realizing what you DON’T want and will not accept so you don’t waste time on relationships that don’t suit. I’ve done a lot of this work before. I could be snarky and say “it’s probably why I stay single.” But honestly, I just don’t think I was ready. Plus, there is an unresolved belief that says I cannot be free + be strong + be myself + travel if I’m in a relationship. That’s what I observe… except in those partnerships I admire that I mentioned above. Hmmm.

Intimacy and Sexuality

The second certification is called Path To Passion, in which I will help people find passion and intimacy in their lives again through emotional healing. I hear stories consistently from my female clients about how they have lost their drive. “I love my significant other, but just don’t feel like being intimate.” Libido comes from the brain, and can often be improved through emotional healing if you desire more sexual connection. Studies show Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a. EFT or tapping) can drastically improve libido. But also remember, physical intimacy does not have to be sexual.

The Touch Communication Crisis

I’ve been speaking at book clubs and women’s groups. I’ve had conversations in networking organizations and with support groups. I hear women say things like, “My significant other only touches me when he wants sex.” Then I talk to men who say, “I wish I could just touch my significant other without always having to perform.” Where is the communication breakdown? Is platonic touch lacking for men, or is it taboo even in their own relationships? Do each of us make assumptions about what another person’s touch is communicating–whether male or female?

Letting Children Choose

I’ve also been big on letting my nephews choose when and if they hug me, give me a high-five, or ignore me after a day together. If they can’t say ‘no’ to a hug from me, then what boundaries do they truly have? What am I teaching them about ‘no’ in the future-for themselves and others?

  • What did you learn about healthy physical contact as a child?
  • Were you given permission to hug…or not?

I have not run out of words.

I have a ton to say on the subject of healthy touch. There is even more to share about how we can heal and really learn to connect. Even if you choose not to touch anyone at all–even a handshake–because of the current situation.

Are you ready to heal your relationship stressors?

I will need case studies for my certification programs. Please, click to schedule a Health & Healing Strategy Session with me if this interests you.

With Love,

Dawn

Nature of Relationships
Dawn with Hands on heart
Dawn
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Posted in Children and youth, Cultures and Communities, Healthy Lifestyles, Relationships, The Touch Crisis, Women | Tagged #thetouchcrisis, #touchremedies, EFT/tapping, healing, healthytouch, intimacy, kids, relationship, sexuality, soulmate | 2 Replies
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