EFT/tapping Archives - Page 2 of 2

What Makes a Good Relationship?

Posted on November 29, 2020 by Dawn BAugust 3, 2023

Do Relationships need to be Difficult?

I knew I would delve deep into each relationship challenge in my past as soon as I started writing a book on touch and relationships. In the Hoffman Process I learned how to evaluate and transform patterns (beliefs, habits, etc.) learned from my parents.

I got to examine what my subconscious beliefs were and to decide what I wanted out of my life. It helped me understand where my sensitivities and triggers were and why. Hoffman allowed me to make healthier choices for myself and regain my strength.

It changed how I approached relationships. It improved my self-awareness so I could communicate at an even higher level than I used to. I stopped self-sabotaging as well (usually.) Relationships became easier and stronger.

Is there a Soulmate out there?

I’m taking a course called Learning 2 Find Love for my next certification in Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a. EFT or tapping.) As many of you know, I love looking at myself, my beliefs, and my patterns in deep and new ways.

I thought this class would be a breeze

After all–I’ve already done tons of work on what I want in a partner. I know the non-negotiables, how I want to feel, and how I demand to be treated. I learned how to communicate clearly (and also that I cannot be with someone who cannot communicate.)

Week three and I’ve had some big AHA moments.

After identifying traits we knew we wanted in a partner (via looking at what did and didn’t work in past relationships), we put them into a grid to determine what traits were most important. Alina, the instructor, described it like choosing different ice cream flavors. For example, do I like chocolate ice cream or cherry ice cream better? Some days one may sound better than another, but both are delicious.

It turns out I value playfulness more than communication.

In fact– being playful, being high-energy, and possessing self-awareness were all more important. That doesn’t mean that I’ve thrown high-level communication out the window (it was, after all, #4 of my top 5). I haven’t LOOKED for playfulness as a quality in a partner, and it was often missing in my past relationships. Instead, I played the role of caretaker or mother.

I have lots of playful, child-like qualities myself

At forty+, I still build snowmen and have conversations with them. Climbing a tree or spinning on a tire swing makes me laugh . In The Touch Crisis I discuss being curious and child-like in exploration around physical contact. Finding play in your own connection to others is important. So why have I dated so many people that only want me to be an adult and show my serious side? Because I had this HUGE blind spot.

Where is your relationship blind spot?

There is another Learning 2 Find Love course being held in February if YOU are interested in doing some of this work in a group. You can set up a time to talk with me if you are interested in learning more. Perhaps you are interested in starting this process for yourself now. I need case studies for certification, so will also be offering a discount if you participate.

Is my soulmate on the way?

According to all the tarot readings I’m seeing online, YES! LOL. Seriously though, whether he is or not, the extra clarity I have found is worth it’s weight in gold. I already knew I would not waste more of my valuable time in a relationship that didn’t suit me. My vision is more clear now.

You deserve a joyful relationship.

With gratitude,

Dawn

Healing The Touch Crisis… in Relationships

Posted on November 25, 2020 by Dawn BAugust 3, 2023

I started writing a post here about a month ago about my current thoughts on The Touch Crisis in our culture. It turned into three pages of stuff that I realized belonged in my relationship book.

My Next Books

Yes, you read that right. I’ve been waking up in the morning with inspirations and ideas about my next books on touch–one for relationships and one regarding physical contact and children. Also, to be thorough, I’ve been interviewing various psychologists, therapists, and families. These conversations have lead me to recall and evaluate my own experiences in personal relationships. I have been exploring what I learned around healthy contact as a child. It’s healing work I have done before, but I always find another insight or memory to explore.

Finding a Soulmate

There are a few partnerships/ marriages I have always admired. Somehow I thought I was too independent for that. Too free-spirited. Now I am immersed in two advanced Emotional Freedom Techniques certification programs. The first program is called Learning to Find Love. It is about healing old relationship patterns, beliefs, and aligning your energies to attract your soulmate. A big part of the class is realizing what you DON’T want and will not accept so you don’t waste time on relationships that don’t suit. I’ve done a lot of this work before. I could be snarky and say “it’s probably why I stay single.” But honestly, I just don’t think I was ready. Plus, there is an unresolved belief that says I cannot be free + be strong + be myself + travel if I’m in a relationship. That’s what I observe… except in those partnerships I admire that I mentioned above. Hmmm.

Intimacy and Sexuality

The second certification is called Path To Passion, in which I will help people find passion and intimacy in their lives again through emotional healing. I hear stories consistently from my female clients about how they have lost their drive. “I love my significant other, but just don’t feel like being intimate.” Libido comes from the brain, and can often be improved through emotional healing if you desire more sexual connection. Studies show Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a. EFT or tapping) can drastically improve libido. But also remember, physical intimacy does not have to be sexual.

The Touch Communication Crisis

I’ve been speaking at book clubs and women’s groups. I’ve had conversations in networking organizations and with support groups. I hear women say things like, “My significant other only touches me when he wants sex.” Then I talk to men who say, “I wish I could just touch my significant other without always having to perform.” Where is the communication breakdown? Is platonic touch lacking for men, or is it taboo even in their own relationships? Do each of us make assumptions about what another person’s touch is communicating–whether male or female?

Letting Children Choose

I’ve also been big on letting my nephews choose when and if they hug me, give me a high-five, or ignore me after a day together. If they can’t say ‘no’ to a hug from me, then what boundaries do they truly have? What am I teaching them about ‘no’ in the future-for themselves and others?

What did you learn about healthy physical contact as a child?

I have not run out of words.

I have a ton to say on the subject of healthy touch. There is even more to share about how we can heal and really learn to connect. Even if you choose not to touch anyone at all–even a handshake–because of the current situation.

Are you ready to heal your relationship stressors?

I will need case studies for my certification programs. Please, click to schedule a Health & Healing Strategy Session with me if this interests you.

With Love,

Dawn

How To Define Oneself?

Posted on December 11, 2019 by Dawn BAugust 3, 2023

Am I Extrovert? Introvert?

The Dark Hedges — Rain and Darkness Bring Beauty and Light

Introversion. Dictionary.com defines it as “the act of directing one’s interest inward or to things within the self.” As someone who has defined herself as an extrovert since the age of nineteen, the idea of being defined as an introvert again scares me.

But why do I have to define myself? As a child, my parents and friends knew me as an overly-talkative, playful, and goofy character. My mom recalls me laughing at “free air” signs at gas stations. Why on earth would people charge for air? But when around strangers or in groups, I was quiet, compliant, and docile. I liked being outside for hours playing with my Labrador, Ben. I charged myself by pondering things like love as I wandered the deep forest with him. Reading until the wee hours of the morning inspired me. It all changed when I moved to Salt Lake City, Utah to go to massage school. How would I meet people? How would I survive? I adapted my dad’s extrovert personality, and forced myself to talk to anyone and everyone in my class. I was surprised to make friends quickly and as I celebrated my twentieth birthday there, I realized I was more than the box I had been subconsciously relegated to—both by myself and by others that knew me.

Labrador Ben — Me & Ben. I buried my sister in the weeds, and she’s shining out.

Returning to Minnesota

I returned to Minnesota expressing myself differently than many had seen me before. Suddenly, I would talk to anyone, I presented myself with confidence and assurance, and I even stood up to my boss who committed insurance fraud under my name and kept about five-thousand dollars of my wages as punishment. But it wasn’t the social aspect alone that had changed. Suddenly I found rejuvenation by being with people; anyone around me at that time could tell you I processed my thoughts outside myself, as most extroverts do.

Am I An Extrovert? Does it matter?

I was extroverted in my travels last year. This allowed me to meet great people and develop a few strong friendships. I explored and connected through the new and the unexpected.

This year has been startlingly different. Writing a book about The Touch Crisis in our culture and shining a light on feelings and patterns I hadn’t exposed to others brought me back inside myself for a deep level of transformation and preparation. I spent much of my journey at safe spaces with friends instead of exploring.

Northern Lights — There is more color and potential than is visible to our eyes.

I deepened relationships, took advanced trainings in EFT/tapping, homeopathy, and CranioSacral. My hikes were more about rejuvenation and connecting with myself and nature than exploration. I recharged being alone (introvert,) versus with people (extrovert.) My thoughts were processed inside and then communicated instead of being processing externally (although both happen for different reasons.) I learned that when one takes pictures of the Northern Lights, many more colors show than visible with the naked eye. Isn’t that a great representation of what others see in us and what we truly are? Who sees all of our colors in purity and clarity?

True Colors

My mind races sometimes with unanswered questions. What will people think? What will I do when people attack me or take offense over what I have written? How do I step back into my relationships as my new self? How will this impact my business and my life?

Tapping and homeopathy have helped me tremendously to overcome these questions and settle back into myself. This journey was about finding flexibility. I have concluded: I am all of it. I am an extrovert in some seasons, and an introvert in others. Overall I have remembered that health is about flexibility. About being to express all of ourselves when we want to. I have been stuck in introversion, and have been stuck in extroversion, but being able to move between the two as I need is a sign of health. It’s a sign of breaking free of social programming. It’s the ultimate freedom. I had thought freedom was exploring and traveling and not caring what people thought as I wandered carelessly through the world. I was wrong.

What IS Freedom?

Double rainbow — The double rainbow can represent two choices.

Freedom is being flexible within myself. It is communicating what I want and need and not being afraid of the outcome. Freedom is understanding why I am upset and learning from it; addressing it with tapping, healers, and talking to friends; struggling and coming through the other side; breaking free of the fear of being ‘not enough.’ Freedom to me is choosing who I want to be with—even if that’s just myself. Freedom is returning home after many journeys a different person and allowing others to react how they wish, but staying true to who I am now, instead of playing a role that doesn’t fit me anymore. It will get even more intense when my book is released in January, and I’m okay with that—finally.

My Question For You

Where are you in a box that doesn’t fit? What role are you playing that doesn’t suit you? Do you feel you are not as happy as you wish to be? I’ve been there. A few times in my life. I would love to help. If you are ready for something new in your life…to let go of old emotions, habits, and beliefs, or to transform yourself, your life, and your relationships, let’s chat about the possibilities for you.

I look forward to connecting.

With love and gratitude,

Dawn

P.S. If you are interested in hearing when my book comes out, SUBSCRIBE HERE.

Coastline — Color and Beauty Between Rainstorms.

Healing & Hiking – the Latest Updates

Posted on August 14, 2019 by Dawn BAugust 3, 2023

I’m Halfway!

I have officially hit the half-way mark with writing my book, and thank goodness I hired a content creation expert, Amanda Johnson, to help me. I write in spurts of energy and enthusiasm, but then hit blocks. I wonder how to phrase my ideas. Are they too repetitive? Will they trigger someone or make them feel uncomfortable? I find myself getting upset as I poke around at old memories and lay them out for the world to see in an open and vulnerable way.

Luckily, hiking grounds me back to the earth so I can breathe. I also do a lot of tapping/EFT work with myself. I’m even using my EFT practitioner once a month to help find deeper sources of patterns I cannot see on my own. It’s been an invaluable tool of healing and processing emotion so I can neutralize the past and keep using those stories to help others.

I Like Getting Halfway

I started reading a book once called The Way you Do Anything is the Way you Do Everything. I got about halfway through it, like I do with most books that are not fiction. But the point was valid, and the video below I took reminds me of that book.

I started hiking a mountain, but hit snow. I wasn’t sure, due to the melt, if I should walk across it or not. I know a lot of these mountains have deep crevices and holes that are buried under snow, or streams that run deep underneath, creating potential pitfalls for the average hiker wandering alone. I wandered at the same level for a long time, entertaining myself by building a small snowman, and taking pictures. Then-I found tracks in the snow leading up. So, I followed them. I had planned a 3-4 hour hike round-trip. The book had said 3.5 hours, 6.9 km (4.29 miles), but I had already deviated from the path and circled the mountain to a different path— a ninety-degree difference on the map.

Should I Keep Hiking?

I kept going, bit by bit, checking in to see how it felt to go farther. Was I going higher up because I wanted to? Because I felt I should get to the top because I was already halfway?

So, embracing my inner child, I just did what I felt like at the moment. I took a rest on some rocks in the sun. I thought about patterns of pushing myself for others. How often I do things in life because others expect me to, want me to, or because I just want to prove that I can. I forget to tune in sometimes.

As I write this book that asks people to tune into their bodies as they learn to integrate physical contact into their life in a way that is both comfortable and consensual for everyone involved, I realized I better start doing that in all areas of my life. Tune in. Be present. Make choices. Say ‘no’ when I want to, even to myself, no excuses needed.

YAY! I did it!

I did make it to the top, after checking out a live bug hanging out on the snow with me, here and thinking about how I want to overcome and make a bigger impact on the world. 17.72 km (11.07 miles) and 6 hours later I was back at the bottom, waiting for the bus.

Perhaps, if I can allow myself to conquer the mountain bit by bit, using play and exploration to figure it out, I can do that with the book as well. I can use the support of my coach, my friends, and my own healing tools and get it done. No rush, no timeline. Of course I’d love to have it done before I come home in January so I can focus on my business. Yes, it would be amazing to have it done by November so people could have it for holidays. It would be even more exquisite to have it done before I leave the safety of my friend’ s house in Norway in a week so I’m not stirring myself up and trying to travel at the same time.

But, I am going to remain playful. I am going to heal the world by balancing a wooden spoon on my nose. I’m going to try to be zen, or at least laugh, even when being surrounded by black flies while hiking a fjord.

I encourage you to do the same. Find something that you do habitually, a pattern that exists in your life, and shift it to something that suits you more. That allows you peace and balance and freedom. That allows you to tune into yourself and your relationships on all levels. Be prepared-bring a carrot along for the snowman you want to build, but upon finding no snow, eat it instead for energy.

My Question For You

What do you want to do different? Can you make small changes to make that happen?

Let me know how I can help you tune in. You can email me from my contact page on my website, put a comment below, or give me a call. My work phone works in Norway! I would love to hear from you. I sometimes get the best service while I’m hiking, so that’s fun.

Trying to be zen with flies

With love,

Dawn

On My Way to Minnesota + Life Changes

Posted on July 19, 2019 by Dawn BAugust 3, 2023

I am on my way home, and am not sure what I think about it and this new life perspective yet. I am curious what people will see in me-the ways I have changed that I am not aware of, my accent (according to my parents,) and my ever-changing perspective on life, culture, and how I can help others transform.

After finding out my work permit was denied because Sweden decided they didn’t need massage therapists (the company that hired me strongly disagrees,) I felt a need to rush to see & do everything I wanted to. Curiously enough, I have a return ticket to Sweden for April 28th, as that is when I was to start. I am not sure if I will be on that plane or a later one—or off to a different space. I am going to see what feels right once I am home.

I have been doing online work using EFT/tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques and am having great results with myself, friends, family, and clients. I am over halfway to my international certification, and attended a great seminar on the science and research supporting this great technique. Even the UK’s health service has deemed this worthy of research funding because of the consistent & measurable results with it’s use across many mental/emotional concerns. Here’s a great 13- minute TedX talk on it.

Are you interested in learning it for yourself? I have three Eventbrite classe s coming up in Red Wing, and am actively looking for spaces in the Twin Cities as well. I will be offering some online courses (stay tuned) as well.

Managers and volunteers at the Chase the Wild Goose Hostel, Fort William

I have had many requests for pictures, and I have been so focused on travel and being in the moment, I fell far behind on the day-to-day stuff. It felt too surreal to have to do things-to have a schedule. During the time away I have volunteered in hostels, stayed with people I have met only once, couchsurfed, and camped. I have met people that have become friends, others who have taught me something and moved on, and some that are already like family. I have offers to stay in 3-4 different countries with people. So, without further rambling, enjoy and I hope to see you soon.

With Love,

Dawn

Coming Out of Hibernation

Posted on January 15, 2019 by Dawn BAugust 3, 2023

There is something about hoar frost that I have always loved. It is so delicate yet so beautiful as it sparkles and shines in the beauty of the sun— even as it melts away. I love the fact that most people don’t know what it’s called, and that it is created by a beautiful blend of moisture, temperature, and light. In my memory it comes in late winter or early spring as the earth is coming out of it’s hibernation phase. Some of my favorite winter memories revolve around a ton of snow or a beautiful landscape of hoar frost.

I Almost Didn’t Hike

I almost didn’t go hiking. I cut my foot, I had blisters, and I felt a little tired because I didn’t sleep well. Yet, I was restless and disappointed about the thought of staying home, and was feeling cooped up after all the hubbub over the holidays. I REALLY wanted to be in great nature and have a challenging hike instead of one along roads in towns. The previous time I hiked the trail disappeared, including all markings, just as it left town via a housing complex under development. I backtracked my steps because it was too late in the day to wander into the woods without a clear idea of where I was headed—especially since I was on a timeline to catch the last bus home.

The Hoar Frost Stayed

I am so amazed that the hoar frost stayed all day. I am on the bus ride home with frost on the ground, some fog in the air, and a fantastic lengthened sunset (at 3:18 pm.) I also feel empowered, because the movement and peace helped my mind to clarify how to combine all of my skills into a lovely and beautiful healing process for everyone. I also worked through some beliefs I held about what is possible in my life (and what others expect from me) using EFT (tapping) as I was walking. Peaceful fields, hoar frost, and calming my mind by tapping easily moved me out of a place of feeling stuck and fearful back into a place of power and strength.

I am excited to come back to Minnesota to visit. I have two job offers in Sweden, so will be returning to Minnesota March 23rd to do massage, homeopathy, and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/tapping) in Red Wing and in Mahtomedi. I am finalizing dates and times currently, and will be in touch with anyone who has mentioned they are interested. I will also be holding a few free classes on EFT for those who want to learn it and use it for their own growth. It can help with many things, but the focus of these classes will be around daily use for stress, cravings, and fear.

Challenge Yourself

Now that spring is coming fast, I encourage you to use the energy of growth and extended sunlight to challenge yourself in some way. What is it you want to do this year? How can you be a bit happier, a bit more peaceful, a bit more “you?” I have challenged you in previous newsletters and blogs to search within yourself and see clearly what beliefs you hold that drives you in life that do not suit you anymore. What do you do that has become pattern or habit or expectation, but does not really make you happy? Let’s work together in 2019 and get rid of that so you can be peaceful as you move through your days. With age comes wisdom and the power to dump all social expectations and step into our true selves. I wish this for you!

Nothing Odd to See Here

To continue the playfulness of last blog, and my friend who asked me to take a picture of something odd every day, I have not been finding anything odd, beyond myself, and the pronunciation of the Swedish language. No new fun toilets or anything!!

Have a Great Spring! See you all soon,

With Love,

Dawn

3-D ballon Street. Even something that is flat and lifeless can be brought to life through vision, passion, and attention. Let’s create something more lively for you in 2019!

Do We Judge Others’ Because We Dislike Ourselves?

Posted on November 7, 2018 by Dawn BAugust 3, 2023

October 15, 2018 (posting November 7, 2018)

Emotional Dissonance

I work with a lot of people who have dissonance between what they want out of their lifestyle, career, relationship, or health, and what they have become or are expected/pressured to be. Then, they project outward or judge others.

I use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT tapping) and homeopathy to help each person discharge emotions and have the power to step into the life they want–without feeling judged. I have been observing in different cultures and situations how people subtly judge, and wanted to write a bit about it today.

I went to an event outside of Dublin called “Hammered Hiking.” It was advertised as a walk to a local pub, a 4-hour challenging hike through the hills, a brief stop at another pub, then a walk back to the meeting location. It sounded like a lovely way to meet some people in a casual atmosphere. What surprised me was the number of people in the group who did not drink. It came up in casual conversation as someone passed around a small flask, and three of the 10 of us did not drink at all. We got into an amazing and eye-opening conversation about judgements and social expectations of others. The question all the “non-drinkers” have been asked/hassled about/judged around: Why don’t you drink?

You Don’t Drink Alcohol?

It’s a question I have heard myself. When I traveled to California and was on a detox, people were astounded I would go there and not have any wine. “What? We are near Napa! You can’t go home without having a glass of wine with me!” I also was asked by a couple of people if I was pregnant. Because WHY would I CHOOSE not to drink? The women I was with were astounded to see that I danced, laughed, and engaged as much or even more than if I had been drinking. I know people who will carry around drinks at parties and pretend they are drinking in order to deflect the social pressure. There can be a strong undercurrent of judgement as well. I.e. If you don’t drink, you must have a Problem with drinking. (If someone is respecting themselves and the others around them by honoring their choice of sobriety, we should be applauding them, not judging them!!)

Others look for a Reason beyond just the fact that one doesn’t want to drink that day/week/month/ever. My clients and friends report having to make excuses (I have to drive, I’m not feeling well, I’m on a detox, it interacts with my medication, I’m trying to lose weight, etc.) for it to be socially acceptable not to drink. One friend of mine in Minneapolis quipped, “if I say I’m not drinking alcohol, people wonder why and judge me. If I say I’m straight-edge, I’m a cool part of the culture.”

One person in the hiking group said “I feel split from myself when I am drinking. I don’t like that feeling.” Another woman just doesn’t like the taste of alcohol. Both of them reported being pressured to drink over and over. As if the people they were with were not comfortable unless everyone is drinking. One said, “I don’t pressure others not to drink because I’m not. Why do they feel they should pressure me to drink?”

Here’s What You Should Eat

I hear the same thing said about food judgments. I know a woman who has an extremely high metabolism who has a hard time gaining weight. People say things such as: “Really, you are just going to eat a salad?” “You’re so skinny-why don’t you eat a sandwich!” With the increased allergies in our society, the people with serious food allergies versus just intolerances are not always taken seriously. “Oh, you’re one of THOSE gluten-free people.”

Maybe We Can Try Being Supportive First

Why do we judge and make these negative sounding comments towards people for their choices instead of being supportive? Are we trying to feel better about our own habits and choices? I know in Minnesota we have a mentality where we have to offer food or drinks of any sort over and over again to feel hospitable. “Are you sure you don’t want anything?” I have friends who don’t like chocolate. They get comments like, “who doesn’t like CHOCOLATE! That’s _(insert word of choice).”

Being A Judge is Tiring

I really think that we don’t realize we are making comments that are negative and tiring to others. Perhaps we think we are being playful. Regardless, the words we say have an impact on others. My challenge for myself and for you this week is to watch how you engage with people about their choices. Are the words you are using implying judgement or support?

Resting after hiking 3 mountains in Connemara, Ireland

If you are ready to make changes in your life and let go of the emotional and social ties around it, send me a message and we will set up a complimentary 30-minute talk to explore how I can help you. I provide a safe, non-judgmental space for you to share and heal. I look forward to our conversation.

With Love,

Dawn

P.S. Comment below to share other ways you observe judgement in everyday conversation.