relationships Archives - Touch Remedies

Limited Capacity for Other People

Posted on June 7, 2021 by Touch RemediesJune 7, 2021

Have you ever felt the loss of a relationship and wondered what happened? Maybe a friendship, a marriage, a partnership, a work colleague who moved on and forgot that you existed because you weren’t seeing each other daily? The effort it took to stay connected was suddenly too much? Perhaps one of you got too busy, too complacent, too comfortable and it had nothing to do with capacity.

Perhaps instead you were excited about something—an idea, an event, an opportunity—and then the excitement just… disappeared.

Limited Capacity

I’ve realized I have limited capacity.

I know… it shocked me too! I’ve been starting to do (really bad but I’m learning) videos that I’m posting on YouTube, creating new classes, new business offerings, and finishing the co-authored book that was started two years ago; we were going to meet April 2020 to finalize and release it in November, but just met this April instead. (Look for the launch in January 2022!)

Although I’m great at pushing myself physically and mentally, especially in my business, it turns out there is a limited capacity for creativity. For connecting through words and ideas.

When I’m expending my energy creatively, it turns out I have no energy for daily chitchat with people—even those I love dearly. I want solitude and sometimes want to escape from everything. But I’ve also found that even though my capacity to text, talk, and facetime has shifted, my capacity for love, acceptance, and compassion has not. Even though my last blog talked about how I was “trained to hate women,” I honestly don’t. It was an awareness of the training and the subtle belief systems that make me wary, that made me sensitive, that made me suspicious about others’ motives. When I wrote the blog, I had to be honest to what came up in the healing session-as dramatic and judgmental as it sounded.

Multiple Roles

We are all involved in multiple relationships and play multiple roles in our lives. Whether that be at work, home, with friends, volunteer organizations, spiritual and religious communities- we only have so much capacity. There’s even the theory that we only have capacity to maintain 150 relationships of any type at once.

So what happens when our energy, our passion, and our drive gets spent schooling the kids. Doing zoom meetings. Avoiding people at the grocery store. How does that impact our personal and intimate relationships? How does that affect our husband/wife/partner?

So many people have divorced and broken up during this pandemic. Why?

They Are Driving Me CRAZY!

Some would say it’s because their partner drove them crazy. What happened to the love and desire to be together? How did YOU change—your internal expectations, beliefs, and sensitivities—and project that onto your partner without any communication? How did your partner being home or around more often shift your role in the family unit? Where did you lose your capacity?

What is the Role You Each Play?

Is your role your identity? Was your partner’s role theirs? What is your capacity for being present to the reason things have shifted? The understanding of the loss of connection?

Connection starts by observing self and understanding your own drive. When we are so tied to our identity and/or role, and become offended, hurt, challenged, or self-conscious when another doesn’t help us align with that role-doesn’t play the part they have always played—that is not the other person’s fault.

Limited Capacity for Relationships

If you find yourself “breaking up” with friends, family members, or partners because belief systems are different, it’s a great time to come to me for some Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) sessions. Why? Because it’s your own internal sensitivity being challenged. Your own belief system.

Your Own Unresolved Subconscious Crap Creates A Lot of Problems

How do I know? I can listen to people on totally opposite ends of the spectrum from me. I may be dismayed, shocked, turned-off, or confused by their logic, however I don’t take it personally and don’t feel the need to attack them for their beliefs. Instead I have an open conversation about it—if they choose. (Plus our brains all work differently and I learn TONS from other peoples’ perspectives.)

The more healing I do around my belief systems, the less triggered and upset I get. The more capacity I have for love, openness, and compassion.

Limited Capacity for Openness

Can you be open to listening without offense when others share an opposite opinion? Becoming offended, judgmental, and angry does nothing. Nothing to solve problems nor create solutions. Especially in interpersonal relationships.

If you find yourself more stressed than usual because of the last year, and of what others are doing/thinking/believing, and are open to a conversation, give me a call or schedule a chat here.

I’m here for you. Non-judgmentally and with open arms.

With love,

Dawn

Pictures Never do Nature Justice

Posted on March 9, 2021 by Touch RemediesMarch 9, 2021

No matter how hard I try to take pictures that capture the beauty and energy of my travels, and no matter how beautiful the area, I can’t seem to do it. Pictures don’t pick up on the subtle nuances, the play of colors, the reflections of light… unless you have an amazing camera at the perfect time of the day and at the perfect angle. Even then, the soul of the space can be elusive.

It’s the Same In Relationships

The emotions and beliefs that drive each of us are so subtle, so nuanced, and so under-the-surface that one can be experiencing reactions and emotions for seemingly no reason. For example, I mentioned in a social media post February 18th about a conversation I overheard at a campfire that reminded me of a time in my life I used to question really little things my partner was doing.

Why Am I Questioning?

“Are you sure you added enough seasoning?” “Is it time to check the steak on the grill?” “Don’t you think that adding the garlic now will make it burn?”

I Thought I was Being Curious and Helpful

I did not realize what I was doing at the time, even after I had a partner call me out on it. “Why are you always questioning what I’m doing?” he asked. I told him I was just trying to learn. Which, in a way, I was.

I was aware enough at the time to know that I didn’t get why people were doing things different, and that there may be ‘better’ ways to do something than what I had learned.

The True Picture

Underlying the questioning was a subtle worry and anxiety nagging me that it “wasn’t the right way” or that something would get wrecked or the flavors wouldn’t be as great. It may be good that way, but wouldn’t it be better if it was done this way?

Looking back I think, does it really even matter?

The Great Chili Experiment

I made chili for one of my parties and a chef that attended commented, “You toasted the spices first, didn’t you?” I was stunned he could taste the difference. He tole me he was impressed. I didn’t toast spices for the chef; I did it to be fun and to see if I could tell the difference. Yet on some other days when my partner made dinner I would hover, thinking it wouldn’t be as good if he didn’t do (insert whatever action I was anxious about that day.)

What Drives You (That Drives Others Nuts?)

So what drives you in a relationship (familial, friend, professional, or intimate) that causes disharmony? Picture the last time you were anxious or upset about something little. What creates that little bit of dis-ease inside your body or brain? What are you are personally sensitive to about what your partner is doing, and where may that come from? Often what we are sensitive to in others reflects our own insecurities, belief systems, or judgements within our selves.

The Emotional Disharmony Can Clear

Using EFT Tapping to remove those worries, habits, or beliefs will not take away your personality or prevent you from speaking your truth. It’s like wiping the fingerprints off your camera lens so your picture is crystal clear. It is healthy and important to feel all of your emotions. It’s good for each of us to be challenged, to question others, to learn from observation and experience, and to have differences of opinion. But it’s also empowering to slow down, be patient, and observe.

Are Your Emotions Bringing You Closer to Happiness?

However, if you find yourself interfering, judging, jealous, irritated, or critical instead of curious, open, playful, and accepting with those you care about or must work with, I can help you. Picture your ideal level of communication in a relationship. EFT can help you navigate feelings that may be lying under the surface. You can step into your highest and most honest level of communication in a way that serves both you and the person you are communicating with.

Give me a call or text at 651-401-6131 or join one of my classes if anything above sounds familiar. Do you just want to chat for 30 to see how I can support you? Schedule that here. I’d love to help.

With love,

Dawn

SEX! (Now What Are You Thinking?)

Posted on February 27, 2021 by Touch RemediesMarch 23, 2021

Sex. The word alone brings up different images, ideas, and belief systems for everyone. Perhaps you are singing a George Michael song in your head now.

Or maybe you are thinking about playfulness, connection, and love. Others are thinking of embarrassment, shame, religion, trauma, or manipulation. Sex can be equated with power or equality, connection or separation.

Perhaps you have images of lengthy, slow, explorative, sensual, erotic tantric sessions or lively, exciting, powerful, sweaty, screaming, vigorous experiences. Awkward first explorations or easy synergistic rhythms born from familiarity.

Lust or love. Any combination of any of the above. The list goes on and on.

Maybe you are judging me for talking about sex.

How Do You WANT to Feel About Sex?

I have EFT clients who WANT to want sex with their partner. Yet something stands in the way. The lack of sex is blamed on stress. Schedules. Kids. Lack of desire/ hormones. Body image challenges. (Am I really desirable? I have x, y, or z wrong with my body. If my partner desires me… they must be crazy!) Feelings of duty, anger, frustration, disconnection, shame, or memories of trauma haunt the bedroom.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a. EFT or Tapping) Can Help You Desire AND Enjoy Sex!

Most sexual dysfunction has an emotional root. Even when lack of desire, lack of orgasm, premature ejaculation, or body response challenges seem hormonal or physically related, clearing emotions, trauma, shame, guilt, fear, and/or belief systems can restore optimal sexual drive, and performance. EFT can restore your enjoyment–or allow you to find it if you haven’t before!

Your Bedroom is Your Business

It doesn’t matter what you want your sex life to look like. Heck, maybe all you want is healthy touch and an opportunity to cuddle. Perhaps a connection needs to be built or rebuilt before sex is even on the table. Maybe you are trying to learn your own body through masturbation and are still having challenges. Healing so you can find satisfaction, whether with self or other, is all possible with EFT.

Let’s Have an Honest Chat

Some people are still trying to figure out their own body and what they want (and don’t) in the bedroom. Maybe what you want is the courage to talk to your partner about curiosities, explorations, deeper desires or fantasies. Perhaps you just want the courage and words to gently educate another on what you like.

All of This is Possible with EFT

I can help you. Whether you want to work as an individual or a couple, book a strategy session and see if EFT Tapping is a good fit for you. If it feels more comfortable, start with a class. I’ve helped others through this, and I would love to help you too.

With love,

Dawn

The Little Things Add Up

Posted on February 26, 2021 by Touch RemediesFebruary 27, 2021

I explored Death Valley National Park Thursday. I was high-energy, motivated, and feeling playful. After a longer hike in the morning I had plenty of energy left, so kept exploring. With the sun high in the sky, rock music playing on the radio, and coffee in hand–because those little things added to the amazing energy–I decided to knock out a couple of scenic drives that had some small walks and overlooks. When I got back to my campsite, I was a bit tired, and climbed into my tent to do some stretching before starting the bonfire. I woke at 1 am, wondering what had happened, and why I was so exhausted.

Little Things Add Up

Years of water forms beautiful spiraled canyons

Looking back, I had knocked out almost 15 miles of hiking, mostly in mountainous and hilly terrain. No wonder! This happens in all areas of our lives, especially in personal and professional relationships. Those little things we say to others; the small ways in which we are critical, or in which we don’t ask for our own needs to be met; those unspoken expectations that create a feeling of being unloved, unwanted, or unappreciated. Little things can become really big things–the same the way water can carve through rock little by little over time.

It’s Different For Everyone

Some people love getting praise and appreciation for their efforts and it spurs them to do more and be better; others do not-and it can even make them feel embarrassed and unmotivated to do it again. I am not one to be motivated by praise. I had a partner that was, so I had to make a conscious choice to think about giving him what he needed.

Are You Being Polite?

Some of us, especially in midwestern culture, were taught (via example and words) to be nice, polite, or stoic. We were subtly taught to not ask for what we want; in fact, we often were shown by example to politely turn down offers a couple times before accepting something we did. Or that it’s polite to offer over and over again if another turns us down, just in case. How odd is that?

It Is Not Rude to Say Yes to What You Want

I don’t believe we have to give up our own needs to be kind to others. It’s also not rude to accept another person’s offer if we really want to. I’m also not saying you should never compromise, or that consciously choosing to do for another is bad.

However, for healthy relationships to exist, you MUST be comfortable communicating what you want and need. Period. To do that, you must also be AWARE of what you want and need and overcome any emotional hesitation to speaking that truth.

Start With the Little Things

EFT Tapping can help you speak your truth. I can help you clear those hesitations and brain patterns that have you automatically saying no when you mean yes. You can have everything you want if you can clearly ask for it. That means you also have to believe you deserve it. That you are worth it. That in a healthy relationship of any kind, others want to give back to you—even if their way looks different.

Don’t Exhaust Yourself

When you find yourself feeling disconnected or unappreciated in any kind of relationship (personal, professional, or intimate) give me a call. More often than not EFT tapping can clear the little things that are adding up to those big emotions.

Little things matter. You matter. Let me help. Call me or join my upcoming EFT Tapping class now! It’s only $17 + 48 hours before class starts–you will receive a link to get a second person in FOR FREE. I’m here for you.

With love,

Dawn

You Can’t Go Home Again… Or Can You?

Posted on January 26, 2021 by Touch RemediesJanuary 26, 2021

My Parents’ Home

I went to my parents’ house out in the country and took a hike into the back hills where I used to frolic as a child. Memories came flooding back as I wandered through the open, snowy woods.

My Neighbors

I remembered the neighbor, Ms. Mueller, who I had been told was a survivor from World War II and the Nazi camps. She lived up the hill behind our house on her own, windows covered with black garbage bags. I was always told not to bother her, yet if I saw her outside of her house curiosity would win over and I’d talk to her. She was very kind, if not a little strange. My dad would tell me that was part of her PTSD, but I didn’t really know what that meant.

For the Love of A Child

In elementary school one year we made paper May Day baskets, decorated them with crayon, and filled them with candy. I decided I wanted to give a basket to her; perhaps she was lonely and need some drawings for her refrigerator. I hung it on her doorknob and knocked on her door and ran into the woods to watch, terrified and excited. Would she be angry for being disturbed? I didn’t even know which of her two doors she used. I waited for a while, then ran up again and knocked on the other door even harder, confused at the lack of response. She never answered the door, and I left a bit disappointed, but hopeful she would find it later.

Home Has Changed

The structure of the forest has changed. I searched for the tree where I used to hide out and read books in my dad’s deer stand. (Around the age of 8 I “ran away” and was determined I’d live there to show my mom how much I didn’t need her rules.) The sacred meadow where I used to sit on the rock and overlook the cow pasture is now full of bushes and trees and thorns. A temporary deer stand exists elsewhere, ladder propped against a young vital tree that can hold the weight.

Can You Go Home Again?

When I come here and go into the woods, I remember the simple innocence; the comfort of wanting to be away but knowing I had a place to return to where I was loved. I think about all those who don’t have that right now and feel trapped in houses with people who don’t love them.

It’s more common individuals are with partners or family who DO love them–but are unable to feel it. Just like when I was young and I didn’t realize how I was being loved by my parents—especially in the times of boundary struggles.

Community Support

The water is off. I know 20 years ago I could have walked to any neighbor’s house to refill the water jugs. I’m sure I still could, but it feels different doing it now, since I don’t know the neighbors, than it did when I could bike to the neighboring farm to ask for a cup of sugar for my mom. Why is that? Has living in the city and owning my own house and seeing the separation of the world taken away my ability to knock on someone’s door? Maybe I should tap on that.

Have Neighborly Ways Changed?

I’m not scared and I know I won’t get hurt. It’s almost as if there’s an unwritten social rule. I guess I could go knock and introduce myself. I don’t know why asking for water seems like a harder step. If I were in a foreign country, I probably would, as if being a foreigner excuses my need. But I’m home, aren’t I?

I’ve Changed More Than Home Has

As I followed the deer paths, the landscape no longer looked familiar to me. I remember coming here when I was 24. I think it’s the last time I was out here. My cat had died unexpectedly in front of me the same day I broke up with a boyfriend.

I had returned to bury my cat next to my childhood dog, and took to the woods to heal my broken heart. I sat on a fallen tree, laid down and promptly fell asleep. The sun was in a different space when I awoke, and a deer was calmly grazing nearby. She looked at me as I rolled my head to look at her more clearly, and we shared a moment together. She kept eating, and slowly ambled away. It connected me to what’s real.

What’s My Point?

It was a reminder connection and love is eternal, no matter how painful it can be. Peace can be found in gentle moments, no matter where home is or isn’t. Even in the grief of a death, even when all feels lost, there is still the part of self that grew from that connection.

That’s what I choose to take back with me to the city. Stillness. Hope. Knowledge that beauty is unfolding and will expose itself when this part of the journey is done.

What is Home for You?

If you are struggling with connection in your family relationships, whether in or out of your current home, I can help. EFT tapping is amazing at helping move through feelings of disconnection, anger, loneliness, betrayal, stress, and feelings of lack of intimacy. Reach out for a free health and healing strategy session and let’s figure out how to make you find that feeling that home is safe and calm for you.

With love,

Losing the Ability to Love

Posted on December 29, 2020 by Touch RemediesDecember 27, 2020

Where Did the Love Go?

Have you ever lost your ability to love? I have been hesitant of love a few times in my life, especially after relationships (both intimate and friendships) that ended. But I really lost it, believe it or not, after one of the most joyful and life-changing experiences I had. I came back from Europe December 28, 2019 and one of the first things I noticed when I interacted with my friends and family was the loss of the emotion of love.

My Brain Knew, My Heart Did Not

Seriously— I could not feel the love. I knew I loved them, cared for them, but it was flat. Detached. What I imagine people explain when they are on antidepressants where there are no highs and no lows. In a way it was devastating–but I couldn’t even feel devastated. Usually I would use Emotional Freedom Techniques (tapping) with myself for something like this, but I couldn’t figure it out. I hired Gabriella from Migration of Emotion, and the best way I could describe it was as if my heart was in a concrete bunker.

Part of the reason I went inside? Safety. I connect so deeply and so easily to people that I had stopped connecting because it was too painful to keep leaving.

Where Is the Connection?

The first time I was in Europe I’d be in one area three weeks then go to another area. There was always something new to see, some new excitement to be had. The second time I was there, I wrote my book, The Touch Crisis, and it was much less like that. Friends hosted me, but I also took a lot of continuing education and was in hostels or camping temporarily. The connections were not as deep and, in fact, a lot of the people I considered close friends in the U.S. were not staying in contact or returning texts. Because I was going back to places I had traveled before, there was less magic and a little less enthusiasm about where I was going. I lost, over time, my desire to be connected because subconsciously I didn’t want to feel the pain and loss of leaving people.

I do remember a couple months traveling and thinking I ‘should’ feel more excited about what I was seeing . The realization I had been to all these beautiful places and done all these amazing things and had no one who really understood, no one who really could share that experience with me, was horribly isolating.

Jung on Loneliness

Carl Jung said in Memories, Dreams, and Reflections, “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”

I knew I had changed, but kept questioning: what is this lesson? I was doing my work, tapping, self-exploring. Shouldn’t this be easier? I felt so lonely I couldn’t even find the motivation to do my self-work. Apathy was my main companion. I escaped through reading, sometimes drinking or eating too much, and sometimes stared at the computer. Watching movies was pointless because I would spend an hour trying to find what to watch only to turn something on and be completely dissatisfied– all because I was dissatisfied within. I felt lonely, isolated, and not understood.

My point?

With help, I came out of it; she helped me find what actually needed to be healed. She did for me what I strive to do for others, and I am extremely grateful.

Love is worth it. Connection is worth it. It’s why I’m so passionate about relationships and why it’s my life mission to help people feel wanted, connected, and powerful. Sometimes shit hits the fan and it feels it’s too hard or impossible to heal. Hell, half my work was about getting over the fear of feeling pain or heartbreak. The other portion was about observing where I was getting love, support, and understanding but wasn’t able to see it.

My Question for You

Where do you want to feel more love with yourself, others, and/ or your community? What is preventing you from having that? How will you choose to communicate the things that are important to you?

With love,

Dawn

A Deep Journey Into the Fog

Posted on December 20, 2020 by Touch RemediesDecember 21, 2020

598 stairs into the clouds. The journey into the fog can be disconcerting.

The mighty Mississippi is there. Beyond the silence, if you listen, you can hear the trains in the distance.

The jays are calling. Yet nature feels fairly still.

Going Within

It felt really important yesterday. Drawing analogies between my healing process and nature. The external fog I know will lift as I hike compared to the fog within that is hiding something that is not quite seen, but ready to be revealed.

Trusting and knowing expansion and vibrancy will emerge through this journey, even as I sense tranquility deep within.

I know my urge to hibernate and rest is in preparation for the next phase. Two more books. Teaching. Helping others in their relationships. Travel. Just like nature, going within for the winter creates the vitality for coming out of hibernation.

Powerful Shifts

Something big is coming. I’ve felt it before when I was in Europe. When I was preparing to come home. When I knew I was in the middle of a big shift within myself and nothing would be the same again. This time it feels more powerful. More clear.

When I first came home from Europe I had changed so much I didn’t recognize my reactions to others. This year, for me, has been about listening to myself in relation to others. I’m great at hearing others. I see and understand their deep pain, sorrow, and grief. I enjoy reflecting their beauty deep within that they are afraid of, hiding, or unaware of.

Healing is Often a Journey

Anyone who knows me well knows I am always looking at my deeper self. When I am overly-reactive, I look at why. When I am sad, I allow myself to feel it, but if I cannot move through it, I look at the source of the sadness. If I don’t move through emotions, I do my work to get myself unstuck.

This year has been different.

It’s not just 2020

It is the planets! It has been a year of evaluating relationships of all sorts–past, present, and future. I changed so much that I got to see my “old” vs. “new” self reflected back. And now, amidst this, I am taking advanced EFT tapping training to help others do the same. I taking training on how to help others find their soulmate. Classes on how to help others find intimacy and connection in their relationships again.

Healer, Heal Thyself

Of course, do do any of that well, I have to understand myself first. This phrase is the key to my practice and to my own life journey. I had to look at how I was protecting myself from connecting with others. How I was hiding from love behind the idea that love and independence could not co-exist. That I have to be stronger than any partner so I don’t lose myself… so I didn’t end up being a possession.

Words of Wisdom

I was gently reminded love could exist without possession. The universe continues to send me messages from unexpected places to remind me I want (and deserve) more. I can also allow, instead of force.

“Just like Chinese medicine, relationships are a balance of yin and yang. You will both have both, but sometimes you need to allow your yang to soften, to allow the flow between two.”

My Question(s) for You

How do you hide yourself from feeling or expressing love? Where have you learned to protect your heart and how does that serve you now? Are you ready to be open?

More to Come

I have three more of these blogs in the queue. Perhaps I’m over-thinking life right now. But I don’t think so. I am sure my friends are sick of hearing of my self-analysis. But that’s okay. I know they love me anyway. For my strengths, my weaknesses, my quirkiness, my playfulness, and my ability to be vulnerable… and probably other reasons as well. And that is truly all that matters.

You are love, you are loving, and you are loveable.

Be yourself and be loved,

Dawn

Emotions, Family, and Relationship to Self

Posted on December 1, 2020 by Dawn BDecember 5, 2020

Emotional Funk

When’s the last time you were in an emotional funk? Looking at past situations that still make us emotional–angry, sad, frustrated, scared, etc–can be liberating. Avoiding healing can put us into a temporary funk until we choose to get rid of the old and embrace the new.

Always more self to explore

No matter how much work I do on myself and clearing old patterns, beliefs, and messages, it seems there is always a way to explore more deeply. It’s really rewarding!

Take for example, family relationships. I come from an amazing supportive family, but I still created beliefs of I’m not good enough and I have to work hard to be loved when I was a child. Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a EFT or tapping), homeopathy, and the Hoffman Process have all been instrumental in changing that.

Family challenges

Some people aren’t as lucky. I have many women come for EFT tapping with a history of abuse, physical or emotional abandonment, and/or neglect. These powerful, strong women learn to move through their past and embrace their power, strength, and joy. Whereas holidays used to be torturous, they are now peaceful.

For some, death has separated family and created unexpected loneliness and grief. Others avoid family at all costs. Many choose their own family.

Family patterns influence relationships

We develop most of our beliefs before the age of five or six (or seven or eight, depending on what aspect of the brain we are discussing.) Our subconscious minds are programmed through identifying positive and negative things and then creating associations and emotions for each. For example, we absorb and mimic our parents and caretakers. Second, we have our own experience of how we are treated and cared for. We observe the world with different brain waves and an inability to use logic. What we are immersed in and exposed to informs what and who we become.

Our beliefs sneak in unwittingly

You have to work hard to be successful. I’m not good enough. Money doesn’t grow on trees. That’s stupid=I’m stupid. You are too old to act like that. Children should be seen and not heard. Others are more important than me. I am always wrong. People only want me for sex. Men should act like x. Women should act like y. Boys don’t cry. Women are weak. Poor people are/rich people are z. I need to act like or be __ to be loved.

These beliefs are insidious and sneaky. They define how you interact with relationships, money, society, food and alcohol, and yourself.

It can seem overwhelming

I’ve been doing healing work with myself and practitioners for 20 years. I’ve learned where my triggers are, why they are happening, and how to communicate clearly. Empathy has become easier. When others are hiding or reacting out of fear I can usually feel that. People have different views because of these beliefs. Individuals are often suffering inside, trying to find joy and happiness when these beliefs are telling them that they don’t GET to be happy.

Happiness and joy

My process of becoming joyful was not always fun. Finding joy does not mean I become perfectly neutral and never experience anger. That is an interesting concept some people, especially those wanting to travel a path towards enlightenment, seem to think is ideal. There is a wheel of emotions, and health to me means being able to access any of them.

Emotional health

In my opinion, the marker of emotional health is the ability to see a situation for what it is and how it makes you feel so you can respond to it and move through it. Denying emotion or pretending you are a positive person thus cannot (or should not) feel anger can be extremely damaging.

For example, I have a friend who used to say he never got angry. What he has realized over time is that he suppresses anger because he learned that anger=violence. So for self-preservation, he made a conscious choice to never feel anger.

Instead, those emotions were stored in his body. Those emotions created physical symptoms.

Now–was that function beneficial and helpful to him over parts of his life? Absolutely. Was it his best expression of health possible at the time? For sure. Can he (and you) learn to regulate emotions without suppressing them? Of course. Emotional Freedom Techniques is one of many ways you can learn to do that. (Here’s a 13 or 30-minute video if you want to see the science.)

Become your best self

What does that mean? My best self is aware, awake, and happy. It means I make choices from clarity and confidence instead of reactivity and fear. Talk to me if you want to hear more. Or, join one of my classes on Eventbrite.

Free Tapping Class for Loneliness

I am holding a free 4-week class on tapping for loneliness. You will learn to tap for yourself, AND how to apply these principles for all stresses in your life. Plus, the class is recorded so you can watch it anytime + go back to them. Contact me via Direct message, email, or text, and I will let you know when the final dates are scheduled..

With love and gratitude,

Dawn

Pushing my body, expanding my mind….Thoughts that come up on a 96 mile hike

Posted on August 19, 2018 by Dawn BDecember 27, 2020

In my last blog, I shared about some of the people that inspired me that I met on my hike. The majority of the rest of the hike was spent in contemplative thought about my own life and how to achieve my purpose and passion. If my mind started looping, I would talk out loud to myself in order to stay on track. Except of course for the 3 miles that the itsy-bitsy spider was stuck in my head.

I sang it over and over again to the rhythm I was walking. It would not go away. Maybe my body wanted me to do the hand motions that went with it, but I was trying walking sticks with this hike to see if I liked them. (I do when my pack is too heavy and I’m going up steep stairs or up steep hills, but on flat or easy spots they’re just kind of annoying for me.) Then I started thinking about how I wish I knew it in Swedish so at least I could practice my Swedish. See….the ego is so good at keeping us safe instead of exploring deeper meaning and purpose!

What I really want to share with you today is about limiting beliefs. As I pondered how I can help people on both an individual and community level while make a bigger positive impact in the world, my ego, limiting beliefs, and societal imprints all kept trying to get in my way. I decided these are variations of the same theme. Little things that the mind tells us to justify/explain/prove WHY things are or are not happening. Why relationships aren’t working, why finances are tough, why “x” cannot happen or why “y” keeps happening.

“We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.”

-Louise L. Hay

When I was taking my EFT (emotional freedom techniques/tapping) courses, one of the techniques we learned was how to tap on affirmations in order to uncover the mind chatter/subconscious belief/limiting belief that prevent us from embodying the affirmation. It’s a really fun exercise, and if you are doing affirmations and it doesn’t seem to be helping, let’s do a session together and I can teach you the technique!

Back to my point though. I re-uncovered a limiting belief that I have to work hard to make money. In other words, if I’m not physically pushing myself, it has no value. How interesting that when I had my practices in United States, I attracted all of my lovely clients that love deep tissue work. As soon as I moved to Sweden, I averaged two calls a week for people looking for lighter touch therapies such as craniosacral. My goal was always to have about a 50-50 practice of deep and light, yet somehow I thought it wasn’t possible. In fact, the belief was so strong, I found myself doing deep work sometimes on people that didn’t even want deep work.

I share this because I’m encouraging you to find where in yourself is there a limiting belief that is preventing you from achieving your goal, fulfilling your passion, finding happiness, or healing from the past. When I worked with my EFT practitioner last week, She helped me uncover a memory from fifth grade, when a friend told me that I had to make a choice between her and other friends in order to be accepted. That had turned into a limiting belief that was impacting how I showed up in the world for others, and how I was holding my own boundaries.

If you want help uncovering your beliefs, I encourage you to go for a multi-day hike or walk by yourself. If that’s not possible, let’s set up an appointment. I would love to help in anyway I can. You can always set up an appointment from the homepage of my website. Enjoy this next series of pictures.

Sending so much Love, Dawn