Tag Archives: relationships

I’m Writing a Book on Relationships

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And it’s turned out a bit like a relationship itself.  I was all excited about it.  It’s my second full book.  I was so inspired I was even waking up in the morning after having dreams about it in the fall of 2020.  I’d get up and voice memo myself the rush of thoughts and awesomeness running through my brain.

THIS IS IT! 

Yep, This is it, I thought.  This will be SO EASY!  In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s divine intervention writing this book through me.  I went right from courting the idea of writing a book about relationships into full-blown honeymoon phase. Words were easy; my messages felt clear and aligned for anyone to receive. 

And Then…

Like most relationships, the excitement waned. I kept working on it, but somehow the flow wasn’t as magical.  The edits were more brutal and disheartening.  I was afraid that what I was writing would too honestly reflect my own intimate relationships in the past and upset those I still care for and call friends.

Reality set in. As I navigated writing with work and my life in general, the book got set aside.  I’d write a bit when I felt like it amidst everyday drudgery. I knew it didn’t have to be this way; I couldn’t see a way out.

Just Another Day In the Woods

When people asked me about the writing, I’d say it was going fine.  Pretty good.  But realistically, my hormones weren’t engaged.  My intellect wasn’t excited.  Things were stagnant. 

I’d engage with it, half-heartedly hoping for the passion to return, but wasn’t really sure where I was headed. 

Should I End It?

My thoughts were fully occupied as I hiked.  Do I really want to write this book?  Or should I change it up and write something totally different.  I’ve put so much time and energy into it.  Maybe I should just stick with it.  Maybe this is all there is.

The Big Choice

I had three main options I decided.  First, try to reignite my passion and dedication and bring it in a new direction, using the past chapters as a catalyst for growth. Second, I could settle with what I’ve already done and just keep going, hoping it will get better. Third, I could end it. Either by not writing it at all, or by starting all over again.

More Than Creativity In Hibernation

Everything is GONE.  Everything.

I went into my computer early December to try to rekindle the creative juices. Not one word was to be found.  Not the outlines, the research, the quotes, the character development, nor the chapters themselves.  Unsearchable, even in icloud or my external backup drive. 

I took it as a sign from the universe to give up.  With tears I started announcing to my closest people that the Universe had decided for me. 

A Bit Returned…

Amanda, who helped me with my first book (and is the lead of the 20-author collaborative book being released January 21st 2022 that I’m part of), had copies of three-and-a-half chapters in an email from me.

A Magical Reappearance

As if the Universe was telling me I HAD to write it, Apple Support found it while I was working with another computer issue.  All of it.  Everything I mentioned above + voice memos.  

Now What?

It’s a second chance.  Do I want it?  Will it make me happy?  Is it “meant to be?”  Tuning in, I still have a strong NEED to write a book on relationships.  Should it be more about healing with EFT?  Touch-based? Process and science based?  Should I turn it partially fiction?  Too many options froze me again.

The Next Relationship

I am creating a new relationship.  I’ll read the old content.  Enjoy the light from the darkness.  Feel into my body and get a clear idea if this past writing was just to teach me a lesson so I could have a stronger, more powerful, more aligned relationship with my next writing project; perhaps it’s actually the one I wanted all along.  Maybe as I turned my back and struggled, it has been patiently waiting for me to come to center and feel its presence.  Warm, inviting, and fully open to expanding into a beautiful and synergistic existence.

We’ll see.

If you want to explore whether you should end or continue a relationship of your own, click here for information on my class in January. Or purchase it directly through my website.

With love and Gratitude,

Dawn

  • Dawn with Hands on heart
    Dawn

You Can’t Make This St*ry Up

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I Wrote A St*ry

In fact, I’ve written many, but one is a published book. I have written a chapter in a second, to be released January 21st, 2022, and am currently writing another st*ry on relationships- to be my third, and perhaps final book. My belief and understanding (really simplified) is that human individuals want to be loved and accepted– and the science shows it!.

Everything we do is to try to feel loved, accepted, or as if we are part of something; That we matter and belong. Our brain takes information from the outside world and creates stories to protect us from hurt and harm; to keep us safe from emotional and physical turmoil. Our brain puts things in boxes and creates filters through which we view our whole world.

Why St*ry?

Amanda, my editor and writing support (because there was NO way I was going to write a book then have some editor tear it apart and tell me I have to fully redo it) uses this term.

I think it’s because so much emotional sh*t has to be released and processed when we share our story; Telling about life experience includes revealing struggles, heartbreak, vulnerable moments, shame and other emotions, and secrets to friends, family, and colleagues. Knowing strangers are going to read it is the easy part!

With Divine Assistance

Situations that were synergistic and stories that needed to be shared started to appear. People told me more and more about how touch or lack thereof was impacting their lives. During the pandemic I still spoke about how to navigate touch boundaries. How to connect even if handshakes and hugs were not an option.

It’s All In the Timing

The Touch Crisis is still getting great feedback and reviews. As I travel around the country, individuals are reading it and telling me how important this message is for them.

You Can’t Make this St*ry Up

Is a book about stories. 19 brave people sharing their experience as they wrote their secrets onto paper for everyone to see. Stories of abuse and fear; of romance, heartbreak, and triumphs; of race cars and veterans; of religious conflicts; of loss. Then, Amanda, our writing coach, shares how we came into her life at the perfect time to teach her something important or shift her life. (See below for the YouTube links of interviews I did + Amanda’s podcast with me.)

It’s All About YOU

The people you meet on the street, your coworkers, those who have different opinions and viewpoints- they are all here to teach you something. Are you listening? Are you open to learning about yourself through your projection onto others?

When ‘others’ create fear, anger, and frustration in you… do you know that is something that is calling for healing within yourself? It’s not about them.

I’ve traveled across the US and Europe and see this phenomenon. Individuals do their best to feel love and connection– even as they push others away and judge them for being different.

We create identity and connection to our own groups by categorizing others- sometimes as inferior or opposites.

Can’t we all just take a moment to see that everyone is doing the best for themselves and their families with the information they have, their personal and medical and social history, and a desire to live a happy and healthy life? They have their own st*ry, just as you have yours. Difference is- you don’t know what theirs entails.

Want Help Feeling Connected And/Or Loved?

Reach out via email or text. I’m here to help. Or schedule a short call with me here. It’s my life mission to help.

With love and Gratitude,

Dawn

Short Interviews with Co-authors + Podcast About My Chapter

Healthy Touch Awareness Exercises

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Scouting Your Inner Terrain with Touch The Touch Crisis Cover Strategizing Intention and Safety with Touch Tackling the Mountain of Wants, Needs, and Consent in Touch Scaling Touch Challenges with the 4 C’s Comparing Landscapes & Sharing the Adventure of…

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Is It Over? Clarify Your Relationship Class

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All files used with written permission from the copyright holders. All rights reserved. Is It Over? Class 1 https://youtu.be/c2DInV6rzyg Is It Over? Class 2 https://youtu.be/vEt3ijg2WQE Is It Over? Class 3 https://youtu.be/zVMbInKubGc When-To-End-It-EbookDownload Return to Member Corner…

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Path To Passion Class

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Path To Passion Class (Finding Intimacy) This class will be eventually turned into full video classes. Until then, the audio and PDFs of this class were created by & performed by Alina Frank & Craig Weiner-Master EFT trainers and my…

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Member Corner

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“The body is what we perceive existence through. The temple of the body perceives the rest of creation. Our whole existence is about perception.” Member Corner Page Navigation Tapping Scripts/ EZ Tapping Script LoginHealing Relationships with EFT Class SeriesEmotional Freedom…

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Limited Capacity for Other People

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Have you ever felt the loss of a relationship and wondered what happened? Maybe a friendship, a marriage, a partnership, a work colleague who moved on and forgot that you existed because you weren’t seeing each other daily? The effort it took to stay connected was suddenly too much?  Perhaps one of you got too busy, too complacent, too comfortable and it had nothing to do with capacity.

Perhaps instead you were excited about something—an idea, an event, an opportunity—and then the excitement just… disappeared.

Limited Capacity

I’ve realized I have limited capacity.  

I know… it shocked me too!  I’ve been starting to do (really bad but I’m learning) videos that I’m posting on YouTube, creating new classes, new business offerings, and finishing the co-authored book that was started two years ago; we were going to meet April 2020 to finalize and release it in November, but just met this April instead.  (Look for the launch in January 2022!)

Although I’m great at pushing myself physically and mentally, especially in my business, it turns out there is a limited capacity for creativity.  For connecting through words and ideas. 

When I’m expending my energy creatively, it turns out I have no energy for daily chitchat with people—even those I love dearly.   I want solitude and sometimes want to escape from everything. But I’ve also found that even though my capacity to text, talk, and facetime has shifted, my capacity for love, acceptance, and compassion has not. Even though my last blog talked about how I was “trained to hate women,”  I honestly don’t.  It was an awareness of the training and the subtle belief systems that make me wary, that made me sensitive, that made me suspicious about others’ motives. When I wrote the blog, I had to be honest to what came up in the healing session-as dramatic and judgmental as it sounded.

Multiple Roles

We are all involved in multiple relationships and play multiple roles in our lives.  Whether that be at work, home, with friends, volunteer organizations, spiritual and religious communities- we only have so much capacity.  There’s even the theory that we only have capacity to maintain 150 relationships of any type at once.

So what happens when our energy, our passion, and our drive gets spent schooling the kids.  Doing zoom meetings.  Avoiding people at the grocery store.  How does that impact our personal and intimate relationships? How does that affect our husband/wife/partner?  

So many people have divorced and broken up during this pandemic.  Why?

They Are Driving Me CRAZY!

Some would say it’s because their partner drove them crazy.  What happened to the love and desire to be together?  How did YOU change—your internal expectations, beliefs, and sensitivities—and project that onto your partner without any communication? How did your partner being home or around more often shift your role in the family unit? Where did you lose your capacity?

What is the Role You Each Play?

Is your role your identity?  Was your partner’s role theirs? What is your capacity for being present to the reason things have shifted?  The understanding of the loss of connection?

Connection starts by observing self and understanding your own drive.  When we are so tied to our identity and/or role, and become offended, hurt, challenged, or self-conscious when another doesn’t help us align with that role-doesn’t play the part they have always played—that is not the other person’s fault.

Limited Capacity for Relationships

If you find yourself “breaking up” with friends, family members, or partners because belief systems are different, it’s a great time to come to me for some Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT Tapping) sessions.  Why?  Because it’s your own internal sensitivity being challenged.  Your own belief system.  

Your Own Unresolved Subconscious Crap Creates A Lot of Problems 

How do I know?  I can listen to people on totally opposite ends of the spectrum from me. I may be dismayed, shocked, turned-off, or confused by their logic, however I don’t take it personally and don’t feel the need to attack them for their beliefs.  Instead I have an open conversation about it—if they choose.  (Plus our brains all work differently and I learn TONS from other peoples’ perspectives.)

The more healing I do around my belief systems, the less triggered and upset I get.  The more capacity I have for love, openness, and compassion.

Limited Capacity for Openness

Can you be open to listening without offense when others share an opposite  opinion? Becoming offended, judgmental, and angry does nothing.  Nothing to solve problems nor create solutions.  Especially in interpersonal relationships. 

If you find yourself more stressed than usual because of the last year, and of what others are doing/thinking/believing, and are open to a conversation, give me a call or schedule a chat here.

I’m here for you.  Non-judgmentally and with open arms.

With love,

Dawn

  • Dawn with Hands on heart
    Dawn
  • Dawn with Hands on heart
    Dawn

Pictures Never do Nature Justice

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No matter how hard I try to take pictures that capture the beauty and energy of my travels, and no matter how beautiful the area, I can’t seem to do it. Pictures don’t pick up on the subtle nuances, the play of colors, the reflections of light… unless you have an amazing camera at the perfect time of the day and at the perfect angle.  Even then, the soul of the space can be elusive.  

  • Cornwall, England
  • Red Rock Canyon, Nevada USA
  • Glacial Stream, Iceland

It’s the Same In Relationships

The emotions and beliefs that drive each of us are so subtle, so nuanced, and so under-the-surface that one can be experiencing reactions and emotions for seemingly no reason.  For example, I mentioned in a social media post February 18th about a conversation I overheard at a campfire that reminded me of a time in my life I used to question really little things my partner was doing. 

Why Am I Questioning?

“Are you sure you added enough seasoning?”  “Is it time to check the steak on the grill?” “Don’t you think that adding the garlic now will make it burn?”  

I Thought I was Being Curious and Helpful

I did not realize what I was doing at the time, even after I had a partner call me out on it.  “Why are you always questioning what I’m doing?” he asked. I told him I was just trying to learn.  Which, in a way, I was.  

I was aware enough at the time to know that I didn’t get why people were doing things different, and that there may be ‘better’ ways to do something than what I had learned. 

The True Picture

Underlying the questioning was a subtle worry and anxiety nagging me that it “wasn’t the right way” or that something would get wrecked or the flavors wouldn’t be as great.  It may be good that way, but wouldn’t it be better if it was done this way? 

Looking back I think, does it really even matter?

The Great Chili Experiment

I made chili for one of my parties and a chef that attended commented, “You toasted the spices first, didn’t you?”  I was stunned he could taste the difference. He tole me he was impressed.  I didn’t toast spices for the chef; I did it to be fun and to see if I could tell the difference. Yet on some other days when my partner made dinner I would hover, thinking it wouldn’t be as good if he didn’t do (insert whatever action I was anxious about that day.)

What Drives You (That Drives Others Nuts?)

So what drives you in a relationship (familial, friend, professional, or intimate) that causes disharmony?  Picture the last time you were anxious or upset about something little. What creates that little bit of dis-ease inside your body or brain?  What are you are personally sensitive to about what your partner is doing, and where may that come from?  Often what we are sensitive to in others reflects our own insecurities, belief systems, or judgements within our selves.  

The Emotional Disharmony Can Clear 

Using EFT Tapping to remove those worries, habits, or beliefs will not take away your personality or prevent you from speaking your truth.  It’s like wiping the fingerprints off your camera lens so your picture is crystal clear.  It is healthy and important to feel all of your emotions.  It’s good for each of us to be challenged, to question others, to learn from observation and experience, and to have differences of opinion. But it’s also empowering to slow down, be patient, and observe.

Are Your Emotions Bringing You Closer to Happiness? 

However, if you find yourself interfering, judging, jealous, irritated, or critical instead of curious, open, playful, and accepting with those you care about or must work with, I can help you. Picture your ideal level of communication in a relationship.  EFT can help you navigate feelings that may be lying under the surface.  You can step into your highest and most honest level of communication in a way that serves both you and the person you are communicating with. 

Give me a call or text at 651-401-6131 or join one of my classes if anything above sounds familiar. Do you just want to chat for 30 to see how I can support you? Schedule that here. I’d love to help.

With love,

Dawn

  • Dawn with Hands on heart
    Dawn
  • Dawn with Hands on heart
    Dawn

SEX! (Now What Are You Thinking?)

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Sex.  The word alone brings up different images, ideas, and belief systems for everyone. Perhaps you are singing a George Michael song in your head now. 

Or maybe you are thinking about playfulness, connection, and love.  Others are thinking of embarrassment, shame, religion, trauma, or manipulation.  Sex can be equated with power or equality, connection or separation.

Perhaps you have images of lengthy, slow, explorative, sensual, erotic tantric sessions or lively, exciting, powerful, sweaty, screaming, vigorous experiences.  Awkward first explorations or easy synergistic rhythms born from familiarity.

Lust or love.  Any combination of any of the above. The list goes on and on.

Maybe you are judging me for talking about sex.

How Do You WANT to Feel About Sex?

I have EFT clients who WANT to want sex with their partner.  Yet something stands in the way.  The lack of sex is blamed on stress. Schedules. Kids.  Lack of desire/ hormones.  Body image challenges. (Am I really desirable? I have x, y, or z wrong with my body.  If my partner desires me… they must be crazy!) Feelings of duty, anger, frustration, disconnection, shame, or memories of trauma haunt the bedroom.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (a.k.a. EFT or Tapping) Can Help You Desire AND Enjoy Sex!

Most sexual dysfunction has an emotional root.  Even when lack of desire, lack of orgasm, premature ejaculation, or body response challenges seem hormonal or physically related, clearing emotions, trauma, shame, guilt, fear, and/or belief systems can restore optimal sexual drive, and performance. EFT can restore your enjoyment–or allow you to find it if you haven’t before!

Your Bedroom is Your Business

It doesn’t matter what you want your sex life to look like.  Heck, maybe all you want is healthy touch and an opportunity to cuddle.  Perhaps a connection needs to be built or rebuilt before sex is even on the table. Maybe you are trying to learn your own body through masturbation and are still having challenges. Healing so you can find satisfaction, whether with self or other, is all possible with EFT.

Let’s Have an Honest Chat

Some people are still trying to figure out their own body and what they want (and don’t) in the bedroom.  Maybe what you want is the courage to talk to your partner about curiosities, explorations, deeper desires or fantasies.  Perhaps you just want the courage and words to gently educate another on what you like.  

All of This is Possible with EFT

I can help you.  Whether you want to work as an individual or a couple, book a strategy session and see if EFT Tapping is a good fit for you.   If it feels more comfortable, start with a class. I’ve helped others through this, and I would love to help you too.  

With love,

Dawn

  • Dawn with Hands on heart
    Dawn
  • Dawn with Hands on heart
    Dawn