fear Archives - Touch Remedies

Soulmates, Synchronicities, and EFT Tapping

Posted on January 5, 2021 by Touch RemediesAugust 3, 2023

Guilty Pleasures

I have a really guilty pleasure of pulling oracle cards and watching group tarot readers online. It’s similar to how some people like watching 90 Day Fiancé or Top Chef. I don’t do it all the time, but I get curious about energies and I listen for synchronicities. After all—we see the world as we are. Whatever I hear is what I am meant to, and perhaps what I need to use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) for. One reader says, “Take what resonates and leave the rest, because it was meant for someone else.”

Hearing the Message

I liken it to the friend (or parent) who gives you advice over and over and you don’t hear it until you are in a place where you can hear it; It gives me clues to where I am in my own world and own head and what ego-trips, limiting beliefs, or self-talk loops are in my way. Sometimes I used to flip a coin if I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat; the coin flip would either make the choice for me, or I’d realize I was disappointed in the outcome and know I actually wanted the other meal. This is what my guilty pleasure helps me suss out.

Synchronicity

Just after Thanksgiving I was listening to an online reader who said, “You’ve been doing so much work, your soulmate is on the way.” I was really excited and intrigued at the idea. I had been doing the classwork for Learning To Find Love, a specialty relationship Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping) training. I’m open to the possibility there’s someone I’ll gel with out there, as much as I like being independent and alone.

The idea also was exciting in an anxiety-producing way. You know… the type of excitement where you want something but you are scared to have it? A week later I found myself unable to sleep and thought I’d listen to another tarot reader for the first week in December.

She pulled the Twin Flame card and said, “You have gone through challenges and upheaval but Cancers are in a new place. Get ready for your Twin Flame.”

Cue The Brain’s Resistance

Now I really started to get nervous. What would that look like to actually have a long-term partner again? If I found one in the U.S would I get “trapped” here forever? If he was from another country, would I end up moving and leaving my people behind, forever? Would I lose my freedom, my individuality?

My EFT Relationship Coaching instructors have said over and over, “The right person makes a relationship easy.” I can have everything I want and I won’t lose myself? My brain doesn’t quite process. Society and experience tell me that’s not true.

Tapping Through It

I did a bunch of EFT (also known as tapping) work with my fellow classmate around the fear of actually finding a life partner that would suit. I put my EFT to the test, confident and egotistically sure I’d done the work and couldn’t be triggered. Instead of turning on my music one morning, I decided to listen to a third tarot reader. She also pulled the soulmate card. Let me tell you–I’ve never seen this kind of consistency between readers before.

Then I had to process the next aspect of fear. What if I decide not to go to Costco and that’s where I was supposed to meet him? Perhaps I missed him because I was in my head, ungrounded & not paying attention? Suddenly, the fear of NOT finding him seemed to outweigh the idea that I would. Then, I got to use EFT to clear that. Now I’m just chilly cool. If he shows up he does, if not, no big deal. Perhaps my soulmate is around and it’s just not the right time yet. Who knows? I certainly don’t claim to.

Letting Go

I had to get rid of leftover BS from past relationships that were preventing me from finding someone or getting into a relationship again. After all, maybe what I was actually meant to learn was that I needed to do work around my fears of having a partner and my resistance to it so I can help others. Perhaps I get to also let go of the idea it has to be ‘now.’ I know my clients would LOVE it if I found someone local and never moved away again. My traveling spirit doesn’t see that happening. Maybe I’ll tap on that next.

My Question for You

If the genie in the bottle or the psychic or the angel came and told you your future, what would scare and excite you the most? What emotions (or belief, judgement, resistance, observation, etc.) need to be cleared for your own healing process so you can accept the happiness you deserve?

Maybe you already know what your biggest fear is. Or maybe it’s hidden under a layer of self-talk, even the talk seems to be positive. Like “I’m amazing and independent and strong and I don’t need anybody.” We can hide fear and resistance behind ‘positive’ ideas just as much as behind ‘negative.’

Let’s Chat!

Let’s explore this together! Set up a Health & Healing Strategy Session to learn how EFT tapping can help you discover and move through your blind spots and stuck spaces.

With love,

Dawn

My Fear & Self-Sabotage Exposed

Posted on March 13, 2020 by Dawn BAugust 3, 2023

Have you ever been so excited about something? The perfect opportunity, job, or relationship? That new fitness program or lifestyle change? Then for some unknown reason, you do or something that screws it up? That destroys it?

What now? Can we shift negative self-talk, self-sabotage, and subconscious fear?

Making Amends

We can try to make amends first. Ask for forgiveness, rebuild trust, or do what you can to get back on track. Sometimes that works. For example, when I was interviewing candidates for a receptionist position, I had about fifteen applicants; five I called in for an interview. One was a twenty-year-old woman, who had great qualifications, fit all my requirements, and who came in looking professional and holding herself with confidence. But she was anxious and unclear while answering questions, and by the time we were done, I had already decided she was not a good fit. I walked her out, and as she opened the front door, she turned to me and said, “I know I really screwed up that interview, but I want you to know I will be the best receptionist you’ve had if you hire me.” Then she walked out the door.

She impressed me by acknowledging her shortcomings and confronted me with honesty and integrity. I ended up hiring her and she was right. She was efficient, friendly, and organized. If she didn’t understand my directions or if I gave her conflicting information, she would clarify with me and make sure she got it right.

I’m a Pro at Self-Sabotage

Other times, it doesn’t work so well. I’ve self-sabotaged in the past. For example, I’ve procrastinated and missed deadlines for speaking engagements because I had already decided I “wasn’t good enough” to speak there or my message wasn’t powerful enough. In January I had about three hours worth of edits to do on my book. Every slot I had set aside to do it I delayed. I did little things that didn’t matter and that weren’t important. But then, it got worse. I started getting angry at myself and let my mind tell me how awful I was, how stupid, and how this is why I would never be successful. I recognized my pattern and started therapy with one of my healers. She observed my level of self-sabotage and reminded me how sometimes our beliefs from childhood or past experiences prevent us from stepping forward and embracing all that we are. The subconscious can also tell us we are unworthy of something or someone and make us do something that destroys the opportunity.

Why Did I say THAT?

I had a situation recently where I said something completely out of character for me to a person I care about deeply. I didn’t even know where it came from or why it came out of my mouth. It broke trust and destroyed everything that had been built over years. Back to my healer I went, who has me looking at the following questions.

Do you believe you deserve this?
What could happen if this did work out? How does it leave you vulnerable?
Where in your past did you get hurt in a way that you subconsciously created this problem as a defense mechanism?
How can you heal that past so you don’t do it again?

Exploring a Deeper Level

I know if I don’t look at my past, I will keep self-sabotaging over and over again in future situations because I haven’t healed the root belief and the root fear that my subconscious is protecting me from. I am actively working on it; finding forgiveness for myself for the times I failed, the times I got hurt, and the times I hurt others. It’s going to be a long road. I’m hoping for forgiveness from my friend. I’m resisting the self-forgiveness for sure. As many of us do.

Where do you self-sabotage in your relationships, your career, your health? How do you prevent yourself from opening to happiness, health, and ease in all aspects of your life? I encourage you to explore your own healing, whether with a healer or therapist, or on your own. Really sit and figure out what you want. Then go for it. Commit to yourself and the process even if it means being uncomfortable for a while. It’s how we grow. I’m right here with you.